Monday, September 29, 2008

weekend fun and games

so the weekend didn't go entirely as planned because Big One woke up Saturday morning vomiting everywhere.........and my initial reaction WAS NOT "oh no, my baby is sick"......MY initial reaction was "dammitalltohell there goes my f 'n free time.....shit". Before you say anything, I know......that was mean and hateful and I am going straight to hell, but in my defense, I get little to NO free time EVER and I was SOOOOO looking forward to the one night and one full day of mini-less bliss.

yes, I do love my kids.....why do you ask?

it turned out the Mamaw didn't care that the Big One was not feeling top notch and wanted them to come spend the night anyway......good for me! The only catch was that plans had changed and now I was going to have to bring them to her, which meant an hour there and an hour back and a lot of gas in the gas hog Sequoia that I drive. Normally this would not have been a problem because I didn't care how much it was gonna cost me, I WANTED my free night, but here in NC there is an ACTUAL gas shortage and there is no gas........NO GAS......none.......ANYWHERE and I only had 1/2 a tank. SHIT FUCK DAMN.......I have to come up with a plan............

HUDDLE UP!

after conferring with our neighbor friends that were equally excited that I had a night off and were ready for some fun time and were also supposed to be tailgating with us for the game Sunday, shock of all shocks.......the Husband came up with an actual plan........AND BREAK!

The plan was that since diesel fuel seems to be unaffected by the gas shortage I would drive the minis to Mamaws in our neighbor's big honkin ass jacked up dually chevy pick'em up truck that takes diesel fuel.....

Wha?

you want me to drive a big honkin ass jacked up dually chevy pick'em up truck with my mini's strapped inside an hour down the road to Mamaw's when I do good not to take out our mailbox with the Sequoia on a daily basis and cannot seem to stay on my driveway to save my ass.............

have you met me? have you seen me drive my OWN car? and you want me to drive THAT?

........the response was befuddled laughter from the Husband and the neighbor and then this....."well, it's either that or WE'LL take 'em" (about a sixpack a piece into Saturday night already)

"or not" I say and take off down the road with my mini's strapped in their car seats in the back seat of my gas needing Sequoia.....

Sunday was too much fun for one day, even though I got no sleep Saturday night because deep inside I was worried about my little minis needing Mommy (but I got over by Sunday morning)

Sunday we got up and picked up the neighbor friends Kevin and Britney (swear to God I'm not making that up......those are their real names) and went out to breakfast. Then we came back and put on our game gear and coolered up and then the Federlines (I kid, that's not their real last name.....but that's what we call them) picked us up in the big honkin' ass jacked up dually chevy pick'em up truck that I spoke of earlier and it was off to watch the Dirty Birds (falcons) get their ass handed to them.

We tailgated redneck style in the parking lot and got burnt to a crisp (forgot my sunscreen) while enjoying food and adult beverage in the hot sun and proceeded into the stadium about 12:30. While tailgating (there were others there besides the four of us neighbors) one girl had to pee (not me, I swear) and jumped into the truck and peed inside a Solo cup.......didn't spill a drop....that takes talent.......We played ladder golf and tossed the football around and just generally had good time

The same girl that used a Solo cup for her bathroom smuggled airplane bottles of Wild Turkey into the stadium in her bra (5 of them....) to get her through........oh yes she did..

the husband and I have season tickets so we parted ways with everyone and went to our respective seats for the game. At about the 2 minute warning in the 4th quarter the Husbands cell phone kept ringing and he finally picked up and it was our VERY VERY drunk neighbor(s) ready to go. So we meet them outside and proceed to the car........the walk from hell with a very drunk person. It's almost like he's never been around other people.....it was both annoying and embarrassing.......

and guess who ended up driving us all home in the (say it with me) BIG HONKIN' ASS JACKED UP DUALLY CHEVY PICK'EM UP TRUCK........

me

2 comments:

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Sounds like my kind of weekend!!!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, (say it with me) BIG HONKIN' ASS JACKED UP DUALLY CHEVY PICK'EM UP TRUCK........

Mom to Mr. Q and Miss E + 7

 
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