Monday, March 9, 2009

Safety First! maybe this is kind of lame to post, but I think it's important and to quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman "I'm a safety girl!"

Crucial because of recent abductions during the daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...

This is for you, and for you to share with your children, your bloggy friends, your IRL friends, your Mom, your Dad, your sister, your cousin.....everyone you know.

After reading these 10 crucial tips, let me know if you know of any more that might benefit the readers because you can never be too cautious! It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do! (and if you are the husband of a woman who knows of this tip and isn't in 'the mood' it...I'm just sayin)

2. This comes from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you... Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! (good tip yes, but I'm interested if the tourist guide has seen this in action or what)

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car (don't laugh, it happens), kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit(doing their check book, answering emails and text messages (who me?) or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you (shit, now I'm gonna be paranoid that someone's always watching me.....DAMN you Big Brother), and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF,Repeat:DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes, bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location. (of course my husband is the one that always says....."they won't keep her long....they'll bring her right back".....ha ha fucking ha...always a comedian....)

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: Look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers (seems to be a lot of tips about serial killers here no? epidemic I'm unaware of?) attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot.This is especially true at NIGHT! (AS IF my lazy ass would be taking the stairs anyway.....what? I have a bad knee.....)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.RUN, Preferably in a zigzag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! (note to self and minis....Mommy is DONE with sympathy so SUCK IT UP.....mommy doesn't want to get raped or killed!) It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her'Whatever you do, DO NOT Open the door. The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door. He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it,but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. (sounds hokey to me, seems we would be reading about this CryBaby Serial Killer all over the intranetz were this remotely true....but JUST IN CASE!)

10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE!(psshhhh..yeah right, like I would be going out to investigate....that's why I got married) These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack (who are "these people" and why have I never heard of this before?.....oh well......I shared.....I've done my duty)

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