not even a year has gone by and she seems like a different girl, a young lady if you will.....
Monday, March 30, 2009
A Hairy Tale
Posted by because I said so at 1:52 PM 7 comments
Friday, March 27, 2009
dirty little secrets
"I don't really see the point in washing your hair. If you don't care if your hair's clean or not then why would you wash it? It's like, I don't clean my apartment ’cause I don't care. I have my apartment for sleeping in and I have my hair for just, you know, hanging out on my head. I don't care if it's clean or not."
- Twilight hottie Robert Pattinson tells TV's Extra
Some things just need to be left unsaid and the fact that you don't think your hair or the place you live needs to be clean are two of them. I will never have the pleasure of being close enough to smell his hair or see his dirty apartment with dirty sheets where he lays his dirty hair.....but I didn't need those details....
Dear Robert,
Edward would NEVER!
Love,
Alison
I'm just sayin......
Posted by because I said so at 2:24 PM 6 comments
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thousand Words Thursday!
time to start thinking about the Easter Bunny again......call your favorite photographer today! and if you live close to me....PICK ME!!!
Posted by because I said so at 3:58 PM 4 comments
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Jackpot!
I just received this very important email a few minutes ago..........I think it may be my money from Amy Amy Bo Bamey's brother in Nigeria!!!! so excited!!!
Dear Customer!
We have been waiting for you to contact us (well wait no longer!!) for your Confirmed Package
that is registered with us for shipping to your residential location. We had thought that your sender gave you our contact details. It may interest you to know that a letter is also added to
your package (a letter? well why didn't you say so......hell yes I'm interested!). However, we cannot quote its content to you via email for privacy reasons.
We understand that the content of your package itself is a Bank Draft
worth of $800,000.00 USD (and boy could I use that about right now!!) FedEx do not ship money in CASH or in CHEQUES but Bank Drafts are shippable (who knew?) . The package is registered with us for mailing by your colleague, and your colleague explained that he
is from the United States but he is here in Nigeria for a three (3)months Surveying Project as he works with a consultant firm in Nigeria West Africa (well of course he is, that doesn't sound phony at all....Amy, what's my colleageue/your Nigerian brother's name again?) We are sending you this email because your package is been registered on a Special Order (well, DUH, yeah...how else to send a Bank Draft(?) for $800,000!!).
What you have to do now, is to contact our Delivery Department for Immediate dispatch of your package to your residential address. Note that as soon as our Delivery Team confirm your information, it will take only one working day (24 hours) for your package to arrive it's
designated destination. For your information, the VAT & Shipping charges as well as Insurance fees have been paid for by your colleague (he is SUCH a doll!! sending me money AND paying the shipping and handling fees...Amy that brother of yours is some kind of special!) before your package was registered. Note that the payment that is made on the Insurance, Premium & Clearance Certificates, are to certify that the Bank Draft is not a Drug Affiliated Fund (DAF)
neither is it funds to sponsor Terrorism in your country. This will help you avoid any form of query from the Monetary Authority of your country (you mean the Federal Government? (Oh, well I'm sure they'll want their fair share, I mean really, they'll probably take half for taxes right up front! but hey, that still leaves me with $400k)
However, you will have to pay the sum of $210USD (can't we just reduce my Bank Draft by $210?) to the FedEx Delivery Department being full payment for the Security Keeping Fee of the FedEx company as stated in our privacy terms & condition page. Also be informed that your colleague wished to pay for the Security Keeping fee, but we do not accept such payment considering the facts that all items & package that are registered with us have a time limitation and we cannot accept payment not knowing when you will be contacting us for your package or even responding to us (Oh I totally understand, I'm so unpredictable that way, I wouldn't expect him to pay for EVERYTHING...sheesh). So we cannot take the risk to have accepted such payment incase of any possible demurrage (demur-who?). Kindly note that your colleague did not leave us with any further information (he's a very busy Consultant, he can't be expected to do it all). We hope that you respond to us as soon as possible because if you fail to respond until the expiry date of your package, we may refer the package to the British Commission for Welfare (oh goodness no, not the British Commission for Welfare! I think we all know nobody wants to deal with those guys..) as the package do not have a return address.
Kindly contact the delivery department (FedEx Delivery Post) with the
details given below:
FedEx Online Delivery Post
Contact Person: Daniel J. Blunt
Email:fedex-courier-nig-09@hotmail.com
Tel: +234-8074478251
Kindly complete the below form and send it to the email address given
above. This is mandatory to reconfirm your Postal address and telephone
numbers.
FULL NAMES:
TELEPHONE:
POSTAL ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
COUNTRY:
Kindly complete the above form and summit it to the delivery manager
on: fedex-courier-nig-09@hotmail.com
As soon as your details are received, our delivery team will give you
the necessary payment procedure so that you can effect the payment
for the Security Keeping Fee. As soon as they confirm your payment
receipt of $210USD, they will not hesitate to dispatch your package as
well as the attached letter to your residence.
It usually takes 24 hours being an overnight delivery service.
Note that we were not instructed to email you, but due to the high
priority of your package we had to inform you as your sender did not
leave us with his phone number (he knows I could get it from Amy you know.....)
because he stated that he just arrived Nigeria and he hasn't fix his phone yet (again, busy busy...can't do it all folks!!) . We indeed personally sealed your Bank Draft and we found your email contact (and thank goodness you did!) in the receivers column as the recipient of the foremost package.
Ensure to contact the delivery department with the email address given above and ensure to fill the above form as well to enable a successful reconfirmation.
Do not reply this email because this email account is not
monitored. Send your details to fedex-courier-nig-09@hotmail.com
Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Margaret Blaire.
FedEx Online Team Management.
All rights reserved. © 1995-2009
Obviously you can see the urgent nature of this email, so Amy........help a sister out, I need my $800,000 USD Bank Draft from your very important and ultra-busy Nigerian Consultant brother. You can clearly see how badly he wanted me to have this Bank Draft. Apparently he doesn't like his very own sister as much as he like random Mommy Bloggers on the intranetz. I'm rich bitches!! Everyone goes on vacation for free on me.......just as soon as I get my Bank Draft! Amy?
Posted by because I said so at 12:52 PM 2 comments
Buzz Kill
I picked up the Twilight movie yesterday at Target. I could NOT wait to get home and watch the movie. I am a huge fan of the whole series, read it twice through and Midnight Sun as well. I just cannot get enough of those two crazy vampire kids.....until I watched the movie and it totally killed my Edward-Bella-Twilight buzz. Totally killed it.
I think if you have only watched the movie and have not read the books you owe it to yourself to read the books. You really don't get the depth of the relationship and much detail is lost in the movie. The movie was a huge disappointment for me. I mean other than Rob and all that.....the storyline was too vague. You don't get Alice's powers or her friendship with Bella, you don't get the whole Edward reading minds thing, you only get bits and snatches of the whole story.
You are doing yourself a huge disservice if you do not read the series. Seriously.....it's THAT GOOD. the movie however.......notsomuch
So if you watched the movie and you just don't get the hype, then you haven't read the books.
I'm holding out hope that deleted scenes and interviews and extra stuff included will be better.....
Posted by because I said so at 10:59 AM 5 comments
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Thousand Words Thursday
Posted by because I said so at 2:15 PM 12 comments
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
hey you....
do you like diamonds?
do you like it when people give you diamonds?
do you like it when people give you diamonds and don't expect sexual favors in return?.....too far?
then get yourself over to Scary Mommy's and enter the giveaway....you do have to subscribe, which should be NO problem because she is very very funny and if you don't already love her blog.....you will.....pinky swear!
Get over there and win some earrings!!!
Posted by because I said so at 9:35 AM 0 comments
Monday, March 16, 2009
Half Assed
Posted by because I said so at 1:47 PM 5 comments
My favorite snack.....want some?
Giveaway alert!
Posted by because I said so at 9:16 AM 1 comments
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Thousand Words Thursday
Posted by because I said so at 9:47 AM 7 comments
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Devil Wears Baby Gap
couldn't you just kiss those sweet smiley cheeks?
Posted by because I said so at 4:19 PM 6 comments
Monday, March 9, 2009
Safety First!
okay......so maybe this is kind of lame to post, but I think it's important and to quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman "I'm a safety girl!"
Crucial because of recent abductions during the daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...
This is for you, and for you to share with your children, your bloggy friends, your IRL friends, your Mom, your Dad, your sister, your cousin.....everyone you know.
After reading these 10 crucial tips, let me know if you know of any more that might benefit the readers because you can never be too cautious! It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do! (and if you are the husband of a woman who knows of this tip and isn't in 'the mood'....watch it...I'm just sayin)
2. This comes from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you... Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! (good tip yes, but I'm interested if the tourist guide has seen this in action or what)
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car (don't laugh, it happens), kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit(doing their check book, answering emails and text messages (who me?) or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you (shit, now I'm gonna be paranoid that someone's always watching me.....DAMN you Big Brother), and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF,Repeat:DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes, bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location. (of course my husband is the one that always says....."they won't keep her long....they'll bring her right back".....ha ha fucking ha...always a comedian....)
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: Look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers (seems to be a lot of tips about serial killers here no? epidemic I'm unaware of?) attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot.This is especially true at NIGHT! (AS IF my lazy ass would be taking the stairs anyway.....what? I have a bad knee.....)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.RUN, Preferably in a zigzag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! (note to self and minis....Mommy is DONE with sympathy so SUCK IT UP.....mommy doesn't want to get raped or killed!) It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her'Whatever you do, DO NOT Open the door. The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door. He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it,but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. (sounds hokey to me, seems we would be reading about this CryBaby Serial Killer all over the intranetz were this remotely true....but JUST IN CASE!)
10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE!(psshhhh..yeah right, like I would be going out to investigate....that's why I got married) These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack (who are "these people" and why have I never heard of this before?.....oh well......I shared.....I've done my duty)
Posted by because I said so at 11:33 AM 2 comments
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Would You Rather Wednesday!
Posted by because I said so at 1:58 PM 3 comments
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Birthday Photos
here are a couple I hijacked off of email...more later...
First taste of icing....looking at me to see if it's okay to keep going I guess....
You could say that she thoroughly enjoyed every ounce of that cake!
Posted by because I said so at 1:57 PM 6 comments
Craptastic Tuesday!
ok so I was off on Friday, had lunch with my BFF and shopped....great day. Saturday was cleaning and laundry day, Sunday was Little One's First Birthday (photos coming later) and yesterday was a mother floggin snow day and today......2 hour damn delay and what does all this mean? Well for one thing it means I forgot to take the kitty's food away last night at midnight so she could go get 'fixed' and de-weaponed and vaccinated and what not today.....dammit. That's four appointments that will require rescheduling today. Six if you count the one's I'm doing for my Mom.....so where was I? Oh yes, so what does all this mean?
4 days off work = good
4 days home with minis = notsogood for the sanity level
4 days off work = desk full-o-crap
Oh and the Bachelor? Oh and Rihanna took him back?......not much time to play today so I'll leave you with that for now....photos of cake face-stuffing coming soon....
p.s.
Please pray if you pray, they found more cancer in my Dad's sinuses yesterday and he's in surgery as we speak. I cannot go to be with them it is a several hour drive and someone has to be here at our business. Keep him in your thoughts today please.... Thanking you.....
Posted by because I said so at 10:21 AM 5 comments