sweet dreams.....or not

(note to self: Don't let Mother In Law babysit on a school night....or any night that involves putting children to bed......or ever)

so last night was Football 201. My Mom and I and a couple girlfriends go every year. There is a Football 101 that precedes it. For those who don't know, I am a football freak. I love football and I love love love my Panthers. Football 101 is essentially a "class" for women who want to learn more about football so they can enjoy it more with their husbands or whoever....and by "class" I mean leave work early and go to the stadium, drink champagne while milling around the team store doing my favorite pastime (shopping!) then escorted up to the club level where you have a wonderful catered buffet dinner and all the beer and wine you care to drink and 4 or 5 of the players come and talk and answer questions and sign autographs, etc. for the next 3 hours. It probably sounds like a big yawn for those that don't like football, but trust me, I've been going every year for 10 years and it's so much fun. Well, Football 201 takes it a step further, they talk more about the CBA and scouting and recruiting and the NFL and all kinds of interesting stuff. If you have a team in your area, I think almost all of the organizations have a program like this.....I highly recommend it even if you aren't a football lover.

Back to my story......so now that the Husband has these inane new hours my built in babysitter was gone.....SHIT....now I need a sitter on a school night AND the sitter will have to put the minis to bed. This will not be an easy find. To my relief my mother in law came through at the last minute and offered to do it (for $50.......I'm not kidding)........but screw it, I needed a sitter and didn't want to miss my well deserved and once a year opportunity. I rushed out of work early (even though it was a HORRIBLE day and I have too much on my brain to even enjoy the night) and picked up the minis at Storage, took them home and got everything ready and laid out. I fixed bottles for Little One and dinner to microwave for Big One, there was no school the next day so we didn't have to worry about homework. I laid out pj's for both minis and had everyone situated, Little One takes a bottle and goes to bed about 7:00pm, every night, without fail, Big One can just get ready for bed and will watch TV in her room until 8 or 8:30 and go to sleep. I would be home at 9:30 and the woman has had 4 kids of her own, how hard could it be?? Well, I'm glad you asked.........apparently pretty fucking hard.

When I got home last night at 9:30...........Big One is sitting downstairs in the sun room eating candy corn and watching TV....."she didn't want supper".........Little One has 'just' fallen asleep on the couch....WHA??? It's 9:30....she goes to bed at 7:00......

"She wanted to go to bed at 6:00, and didn't want her bottle, so I let her go to bed at 6:00 and then she woke up again and I still couldn't get her to take her bottle and she never went back to sleep until just a minute ago"

Well of-fucking-course she didn't want her bottle at 6:00......she just HAD a bottle at 3:30 at Storage. She doesn't eat again until she goes to bed...at 7 or 7:30......and how did she 'want' to go to bed at 6? Did she tell you she wanted to go to bed? Did the 8 month old baby say Grandma I can't take it anymore, I've got to go to bed now........and why is she back downstairs? "she was rolling around in the crib so I brought her back down".....she's a baby, a child, a little person......they roll, they kick, they flail in their sleep.....haven't you done this before or were your 4 raised by each other?

And what's the deal with Big One? Why is she up? Why is she eating candy corn? Why is she up? Why is she still clothed? And why is she up?

it was a long night in the Said So house and I'm too tired for this working business today. I fear she has permanently fucked up my nighttime routine with the minis......I'll keep you abreast of the situation. I'm sure you can't wait for part 2 of this gripping tale.......

is it 4:30 yet?

if you haven't already...........GO VOTE!!