DAMMIT

Oh. My. Gah.

So flash back to last week when I was going on and on about how Thankful I was about this and that.......HAH.....they'll be none of that funnybusiness today! Oh I'm still Thankful alright....thankful it's finally MONDAY and I'm AT WORK, where if you'll remember I'm not supposed to be today......but damn, I'd rather be here at work than in the 4th layer of Hell I was in all weekend!

Here's how it went down......


Last Thursday I am at work.....you know, working.....okay, blogging and I may have checked FaceCrack once or ten times, but I did do some work too!....and I get a call from Storage that Little One is throwing up all over the place and has diarrhea, has run through all of her Emergency Pants (2 sets of extra clothes) and smells to high heaven of various bodily fluid......yummy....So I leave work and go retrieve my little petri dish and let me just say that they were not exaggerating about the smell.....holy mother of gawd. She looks horrible, just pale as a little ghost and pitiful as she can be. I get all her dirties and gather all the food I sent for her that day that she hadn't eaten and get her out to the car.....and just as I'm buckling the carseat, yep, you guessed it..she pukes all over the place.....all over her, the carseat, my arms, etc. DAMMIT....

This goes on for the rest of the day and into the night and approximately 5 sheet changes, 6 baths and 6 costume changes later....

fast forward to Friday morning when I have to stay home with her because she can't be put in Storage when she's sick....which in turn means I've just lost one of my coveted "days off" for the following week, which is now this week and which is why I'm at work and not enjoying the day off to myself as planned.......but back to the story at hand....

she does start to get semi-better as Friday goes on but she still can't get settled and cannot sleep at all. Not even a little bit. Cannot get comfy. I'm starting to think it might be more than just the virus......I'm starting to think she might have another ear infection and DAMMIT right before surgery Wednesday. No, says the Husband, it's probably just the virus and talked me out of my 'momtuition'.....(note to self......NEVER listen to the Husband) so at about 4:00 am I hear Big One over the monitor......"Mommy!!! Mommy!!! I need you!!! I'm throwing up!!!" DAMMIT! she's got it too.....get up to her room and she and her rug and everything are COVERED....get her into the bathroom and stripped and in the tub while the Husband (yes, he actually got up and helped.....shock......and awe.....) cleans the rug and changes the sheets. Midway through Big One's washdown I start to feel.....shall we say queasy.....and DAMMIT DAMMIT, yep, I've got it too, when suddenly from the other room I hear "Honey, I don't feel so good....you think you could finish this sheet job?" DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT....now the entire family has the stomach virus from hell.

As if this were not bad enough about 6:00am my return-ear-infection-fears turned into reality when Little One's eardrum ruptured and began draining pus while she screamed at the top of her little lung capacity. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Damn me for not listening to my instincts damn me for not listening to my 'momtuition'. So Saturday morning as soon as the Pediatrician opened (mine is open Saturdays and Sundays for just these situations.....God bless them)....I called and I explained the stomach virus situation and the ear situation and they wanted to see her even though I might spread the creeping crud while I was there....."make sure you have a bucket handy" I say......NOT. KIDDING. So I take her and it is exactly what I told them it was and they gave hear eardrops so the infection didn't spread to the outer ear and an antibiotic. Fine. I go wait in line, feeling like death warmed over and like I might puke all over the Pharmacy Section of Target at any moment and WHY is everyone and their momma getting prescriptions at Target this morning???........get her prescriptions and go home. I put the ear drops in successfully and give her the first dose of antibiotic. Finally, I can lie down for a minute.......or not.....she promptly throws up the antibiotic.....EVERYWHERE.....tell me how 1/2 a tsp turns into 1/2 a gallon in 5 minutes?... sparing the boring details (why now you ask??)....ha ha.......this happens every time I give it to her for all three doses so Sunday morning I call the Pediatrician again and they say what??? say it with me now...."Bring her back".........DAMMIT....so off I go again, still feeling like the ass end of a goat back to the Pediatrician. This time she gets the and I quote "VERY painful" Rocephin shot. Drama all over the Pediatricians office while she screams it out for the entire 20 minutes we wait to make sure there is no reaction. I'm sitting in that little examining room holding my screaming baby not wanting me or her to touch any of the germ infested surfaces in the room all the while trying not to puke......talking myself out of puking.......and the doctor tells me that her ear looks so bad they may not do the tubes on Wednesday......WHA??? NO.....NO NO NO NO NO.....they have to, this baby cannot keep doing this ear infection thing.......they just have to do it! For her sake and mine this cannot be true....

Here's the part of the story that no one in going to believe.......NO ONE......I still can't believe it. When I got home finally from this fiasco Sunday afternoon......I walked in the house and it was clean......not just clean.....SPOTLESS. And Big One was upstairs finishing up her room and the Husband was standing in the laundry room folding his third load of laundry.......AND then went to the grocery store......YES.HE.DID..........and you know what, I didn't even say thank you (patting myself on the back) because they never thank me.....and fair is fair, right?

I know....I can't believe it either.......he must have thought I was serious about that divorce thing I mentioned the other day.....

Update: surgery is ON, thank God........but we do have to start ANOTHER antibiotic tonight just to be sure......and we have to be there (an hour away from home) for her surgery at 6:15 am.....which means we'll have to leave our house at about 4:45 to drop Big One at my Mom's and get there in time........I'll let you know how it goes. Cross your fingers and say a prayer.....

The question is, will I live to see it again?