Thursday, July 30, 2009

Watch This Mom

Watch me do a flip on the slide Mommy....



(Little One waving to Sissy on the slide.....not knowing that in just a second.....)

SPLASHHHHHH......tidal wave to the face

"In your face Little One.....told you to move...."

Thousand Words Thursday

Fun on the slide.....we so got our money's worth out of this purchase!!!
Check out Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more Thousand Words Thursday!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


My baby started 2nd grade this morning.

In her little uniform.
With her new little bookbag and her cutie pie Converse and her beaming excited smile.....

I cannot believe I have a 2nd grader. Sigh......

Love that girl.....she's the greatest!

please disregard the dead-ish Hosta to her right......moving on....nothing to see here......

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


this may not be as funny as I think it is......but damn I had to share

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Sprint Buyback

Does anyone have Sprint/Nextel for your mobile service?

Did you know they have a phone buyback program?

You can get up to $50 per phone depending on the model and how old it is. They don't want the battery or accessories, just the phone.

I stumbled upon this information and happened to have two old phones at the house that I was getting ready to trash. I used to donate them to the Battered Women's Shelter but there was some hullabaloo about privacy from someone that donated a bunch of what turned out to be stolen phones and they stopped taking them.

My old phone was replaced by my Lotus (that I love). The husband just had to replace his this past weekend.

They will take both back and give me a $100 credit on my account.

That's awesome!!


Big One got into this fancy charter school in our area (we put her name in the lottery for the 3rd year in a row with NO hopes or expectations and SHE GOT IN!!). It's the closest thing to private school you can get without the price tag to go with it.

It is WAY different from the normal public school she is used to. It is what is considered year round school. Meaning, she starts school next Wednesday. July 29th. Holy SHITBALLS that's early. Summer just started about 10 minutes ago. Weren't we just in Hilton Head last week?

The rest of her friends don't start for another month. She's a little miffed, but also looking forward to going to a new school. She is not, however excited by the uniforms. She's at the age where clothes and cuteness matter. They matter in a big way. The uniforms they wear? NOTSOMUCH cute as they are institutional. I understand that is the point, but I am a grownup (most of the time). Try explaining this concept to the 7 year old that is forced to wear navy/white/or light blue tops (polo shirts or button down only) tucked in at all times with a belt, khaki/ or navy bermudas, skirt to the knee or uniform pants, white socks and athletic shoes.

We are not pleased with the selection. We are even more pissed that a new rule was passed that they can only wear athletic shoes. No flats, no slip ons, no crocs, no boots, no flops. Oh the humanity!

But skirts look so stupid with tennis shoes Mom........I HATE tucking in my shirts........I hate this belt, I look like Steve Urkle......I look like I work at a grocery store......

suckitup sista.......everyone wears the same thing (as I walk away smiling!)

I LOVE this concept. There will be no more World War III in the morning about our outfit. There will be no fighting over clothing choices. It will be grand. I'm thinking this way the only thing she could possibly be worried over is wearing the right kind of shoes (don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about). I mean, you wouldn't want to be caught dead in Keds anymore. Sketchers seem to be the shoe of choice right now and some Nike's will do. She settled on one pair of white Sketchers w/ navy and pink accents and two pair of Converse, one navy and one white. These should do nicely I think. She just got a new pair of Sperry Topsiders but those were just outlawed so DAMMITALLTOHELL! There's $45 down the tubes. She'll never wear them at home. I can barely get her to wear shoes at all at home.

We have gone to Staples and used my business discount to buy all the 85million school supplies. We have purchased a new bookbag at Target and I think we are ready to go.

It just feels weird to be doing all this in July. It's still July people. At least wait till August 1st. Somehow August sounds better, even if it is the beginning.

There is no cafeteria at this school. Lunch is 'catered'. Oh yes, catered. There are no buses so if you can't provide your kid a ride to school then don't apply for the lottery. There will be approximately 50 students in her graduating class. There are only 3 second grade classes with about 16 or so students in each as opposed to her old school where there was tremendous overcrowding and 9 second grade classes with about 21 students in each. I am thrilled. I can't wait. THRILLED to get her out of that public school atmosphere. I think it will be a great move. Interesting too, I hear the politics at this school are incredible. I don't get into all that, but it will be fun to sit back and watch.

She has mixed feelings.......I hope she loves it. Keep your fingers crossed!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Recipe Blog Hop

I love new recipes. I love to cook, but I also want it to be easy. I love to try new recipes.

Go see Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more recipes.......TONS more recipes!!!

Corn Casserole:

1 can whole kernel corn
1 can creamed corn
1 box Jiffy corn muffin mix
1 8 oz. container sour cream
1/2 stick butter melted

Mix all ingredients together and pour into greased casserole dish. Bake at 375 40min-1hour

Hash brown Casserole:
simple simple simple and yummy yummy yummy

2 cans cream of potato soup
1 bag frozen cubed hash brown potatoes
1 8oz. cont. sour cream
2 cups shredded cheddar
3/4 cup shredded Parmesan

Mix all ingredients and pour into greased casserole. Bake at 350 45min-1 hour

Yes, it is all about starch and side dishes. It's a sickness. I have a good pork chop recipe that's so easy it's criminal......I'll throw it in just so you know my family does eat well-balanced meals (if Happy Meals and hot dogs w/mac&cheese with an occasional cup of mandarin oranges is balanced)

Easy Pork Chops

4 pork chops (maybe 3/4 in. cut)
1 cup applesauce
1/4 cup soy sauce

Spray 9x13 dish w/ Pam. Mix applesauce and soy sauce. Place pork chops in dish and cover with sauce mixture. Cover w/ aluminum foil. Cook at 425 for 45 min.....remove foil and cook 10-15 more minutes uncovered.

Even MY husband can do that.......and his entire repertoire includes oodles of noodles and hot dogs!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Hello? Is this the Center for Disease Control?

1. Hand Foot and Mouth Disease

2. Bronchitis

3. Ear Infection

4. Sinus Infection

5. Stomach Virus

In the past 3 weeks this is what Little One has been doing.

It has been more fun than you can imagine.

Especially the stomach virus. She and I had 4 showers, 5 outfit changes, 3 sheet changes, 5 loads of laundry, 2 carpet shampoos, 3 kitchen floor scrub downs and one bathroom fumigation.

It is amazing to me that one little short 25 lb. human can produce that much.....well, gross. I wasn't even involved in the vomiting....but I was the only one involved in cleaning it up. I can't explain the joy of having someone else's puke in your hair and down your bra. It's fun times for sure.

If you have are familiar I feel sure.

I'm saying a prayer to the Stomach Virus Gods. It involves candles and chanting and strange dance moves. I am praying that the rest of us are spared.....

Work with me

Pray for us

Dance......chant......light a candle

Thursday, July 16, 2009

A Thousand Words Thursday

Every year since Big One was born we have made a new stepping stone for Mom's garden with her handprints and name and date. We started doing them with Little One last year too.
It's quite fascinating to see how much she's grown in one short year. Big One too.
It's fun for them and wonderful for my Mom. She treasures them.
My brother helped Little One with hers this year and that was TOO FUNNY!!! The blind leading the blind.
For more Thousand Words Thursday see the wonderful Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy!!

that's not a necklace

My mom gave one of her girlfriend's daughters a bridal shower a couple months ago.

The bride's mother (Mom's friend) lives in Kentucky and traveled down for the shower. She forbade her daughter from buying hostess gifts for my Mom and the other hostess. She wanted to buy them herself. She has been friends with my Mom for many many many years and I would say...or would have said...that she knows her quite well.

The hostess gift for my Mom that she chose was a wallet. This wallet had to be the gaudiest most tacky and flashy wallet you have ever seen.....and I am so NOT kidding when I tell you I googled looking for it and actually found a photo so I'll let you be the judge....

No, I'm not kidding. And in person it looks like a green glittered bowling ball with a convenient picture window.

I can see that you are blown away by the sheer beauty and cleverness of this gift.

I keep wondering what she was smoking that day she picked out the hostess gifts and I almost thought it was a joke when Mom showed me. Not a joke. This was serious business. The only difference is that Mom's doesn't have a little Mariachi band leader from South of the Border in her picture window but she does have a cute nameless toddler holding a kitten. Presh.

And her friend's hostess gift (which she promptly gave to my Mom so that Big One could play with it) remains nameless. We couldn't actually figure out what the hell it was supposed to be. It kind of looks like it might be a piece of jewelry or something. It's bendy but not flexible. It's very strange but appears to be made of silver. Apparently they are all the rage in Kentucky. So we let Little One play with it and see if she came up with anything.

The look on her face says it all.

*** If you are in fact from KY, please enlighten........and please tell me that isn't your wallet

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Tales from the Crabitat part 2

It's riveting.....I know

So, I wasn't sure if the damn thing was dead or what the hell was going on with it. I call one of Big One's friend's mothers that knows of these creatures and ask her.....Val....WTF??

She tells me it doesn't look good. She's never seen one come out of it's shell and stay out ...... died. She asks "Does it have extra shells?" and I'm all...WTF?? what do you mean extra shells, how many shells do the little bastards need? I mean come on, these little boogers are becoming extremely high maintenance and costly. "But they have to have extra shells. They like to change shells and they also need a range of sizes for when they grow".

So now my Big One's hermit crabs are Fashionistas? They like outfit changes? They need variety? Do they think they've moved to Neiman Marcus?

So here we go off to Petsmart AGAIN to get shells for the diva.

When we get back home we put a couple selections in the crabitat and cross our fingers. We decided to keep them separated until we find out of Crabby is dead or sick or it's that time of the know how that goes. And now that I know they are such divas.....

The next morning it is still not in it's shell. Still in the corner of the cage motionless, looking all gross and exposed. I made Big One put the crabitat down in the garage. We don't want Shellby looking over and getting any ideas you know. A full week later nothing has changed. At this point we are certain the crab has died a fashion victim and moved on to a better place with more shell selection. Alas, we have a 14 day guarantee from Petsmart so we plan to take Crabby back and trade for a new and better living crab.

Unfortunately we never got around to doing that last week and it didn't seem urgent since the crab was, you know....dead. Just hanging out in the crab-condo waiting to be transported back to Petsmart.

Friday night we had friends over and grilled out, drank beer and chilled on the patio. The minis were out in full force playing on the waterslide and sidewalk chalking the entire driveway and hide and go seeking and whatnot. I needed a beverage and they wanted popsicles so I walk around the house to go to the garage-fridge. I grab a couple beers and some popsicles and start to walk away and glace down and notice that Crabby's shell is turned back over the right way and sitting square in the middle of the cage. The carcass is no longer in the corner of the cage, however there are what appear to be leg parts strewn about and a large claw sort of just there.

hmmmm......strange. The gaggle of minis must have been messing with it or playing with the cage or something. Oh well. We'll take it in the morning, need to get rid of it.

I get back around the house and "Hey Big One....did you guys mess with the hermit crab cage in the garage?". She turns around with the most disgusted face you've ever seen and says "Um, way, it's DEAD Mommy...sheesh"

Ummm......then no, no it's not dead. It's alive. No freaking way. NO WAY. Oh yes way. The little diva is alive. So I run back around into the garage and use the little scooper thing to flip it over to see and there is a crab in the shell but it sort falls apart. A leg falls off and it kind of smells. I figure it had a last surge of life and got back in the shell or something cause no way was that thing still alive after all that time and being out of it's shell for over a week and all with no food or water (not because there was none but because it didn't move). So I dismiss it as one of those freaky things and go back to my friends on the patio.

By this time I am so over these damn crabs. I'm so sick of it's dead, it's not dead, it's dead, it's not dead and it's dead. But wait......the next day the damn thing is across the cage in a different spot. The little son of a bitch is NOT DEAD. Holy shit, who knew hermit crabs had 9 lives?

and all I can figure is it was molting or something. I have no idea. But it got back in it's shell and has since been moved upstairs with Shellby. We THINK it's still alive but have no proof and I've thrown in the towel so-to-speak and Big One is on her own with those damn creatures.

She totally ignores them now that she's seen one out of it's shell. I feel sorry for them. I think I'm going to give them to the neighbor girl that has 7 already. Or Big One starts school in 2 weeks, maybe her class will need pets???

Let me just say this with complete confidence......I hate hermit crabs and we will never have them again.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Tales from the Crabitat

Big One found a little tiny hermit crab while playing in the sand in Hilton Head. "I will name him Hermie (so original, I know) and take him back home with me". But who will take care of Hermie Big One? "I will Mommy, all my friends have hermit crabs" (note to self: remember this statement for future speeches.....anything beginning with "all my friends are/have/want" is bound to contain a good lesson).

She then runs back up to the condo clutching her new little friend between two shovels (in case he tries to pinch you know) to find an appropriate bucket for him to live in until we get home.

I'm pretty sure he was gone before she even made it to the elevator. I think the sheer force of bouncing between the shovels as she ran up the beach caused Death by Concussion. I don't think we ever saw Hermie emerge again.

She wasn't giving up hope though, he might still be alive. He lived in a small red bucket the rest of our vacation and then rode back to North Carolina with us in the car. A couple days after we got home I took her to Petsmart and we got him a Crabitat and all the crap-o-la that goes along with it. Still nothing.

We finally decided that Hermie had probably gone on to a better place. Big One thinks he missed his Mommy. I think the shovel ride could have been a little less....ummmm...bumpy or maybe a little more.....gentle.

Darn the luck.

What? You want to use your flower watering money to get another hermit crab? (my Mom pays her to water her flowers when she's out of town). Really? Well, you earned it so you get to spend it how you want. Okay, we'll go one day this week.

So we did. We got another hermit crab. She named him/her/it Crabby (so original, I know). Crabby apparently didn't like his new home and never would come out of his shell. It was decked out too, with all the latest in Hermit Crabitat gear. Big One read that hermit crabs are very social and thought maybe he was depressed and might need a friend so PUHHHLEASSSEEE could we go back and get just one more crab so he won't die of lonliness? (well when you put it that way.....) So here we go back to Petsmart again.

New crab. This one had a name before it was even picked out. This one was named Shellby (we are getting better with the names). So now Crabby will have a friend and life will be grand. Yee Haw.

We get home and Big One runs upstairs to get the crabitat and bring it down to introduce the two and show Shellby her new home (as a rule gender of the crabs is determined in our house by whatever she decides to name them, as are stuffed animals, fish, turtles, and butterflies...which are all girls by the way).

Imagine the most ear curdling scream you can.....MOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYYY.....come here. Come here please please please come here. AHHHHHHH....Mommy I need you, come here quick hurry hurry hurry come here. What is it Big One? I'm trying to feed Little One, I can't leave her downstairs honey, can't you tell me what the problem is? Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself, is it Bella? What's wrong???? "No Mommy, you HAVE to come here, please". Seriously Big One, please TELL me what the problem is, it's kind of an inconvenient time and if it's something silly I'm going to be very angry. (now crying) PLEASE Mommy. Please come here. (now I'm getting irritated because she's this upset and won't give even the slightest hint as to what is the problem).

So I get Little One and go upstairs.

Crabby came out of his shell.

Have you ever seen a hermit crab out of it's shell?

It's not pretty. It's quite disturbing. It's an alien.

"Holy Shitake"

I have never seen anything like it. Yeah......I'm not touching that Big One. You are on your own. You are the one that wanted hermit crabs.

"But Mommy......"

to be continued.....I have to pee and I have a meeting in 5

Thursday, July 9, 2009

A Thousand Words Thursday

Footprints in the sand.....My Big One and My Little One.....what a difference! Of course they are 6 years apart!

(and yes I know their names are on the photo but I figure this will be the one and only time you'll ever see them in print time can't hurt right?)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Dear Jillian,


It took you that long to get rid of that slimeball?

Honey, I'm not seeing a "connection" with any of these boys that throws sparks in the air. I fear this is going to be another big dissappointment. Another many hours of wasted time that I will never get back, yet you people keep sucking me in.

I don't get it. Aren't you dissappointed? I think we all know you aren't going to marry any of these clowns, right?

I call for a should get a whole new crop to choose from just because of what an asshat Wes turned out to be, and I hate country music anyway so SUCK IT Wes!

On the upside though, girl you are the cutest dresser. I am totally diggin your clothes....might want to consider doing something with the nose, although you are super cute regardless.....just sayin.

Totally sick of the lameness of both Bachelor and Bachelorette,


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