Monday, July 13, 2009

Tales from the Crabitat

Big One found a little tiny hermit crab while playing in the sand in Hilton Head. "I will name him Hermie (so original, I know) and take him back home with me". But who will take care of Hermie Big One? "I will Mommy, all my friends have hermit crabs" (note to self: remember this statement for future speeches.....anything beginning with "all my friends are/have/want" is bound to contain a good lesson).

She then runs back up to the condo clutching her new little friend between two shovels (in case he tries to pinch you know) to find an appropriate bucket for him to live in until we get home.

I'm pretty sure he was gone before she even made it to the elevator. I think the sheer force of bouncing between the shovels as she ran up the beach caused Death by Concussion. I don't think we ever saw Hermie emerge again.

She wasn't giving up hope though, he might still be alive. He lived in a small red bucket the rest of our vacation and then rode back to North Carolina with us in the car. A couple days after we got home I took her to Petsmart and we got him a Crabitat and all the crap-o-la that goes along with it. Still nothing.

We finally decided that Hermie had probably gone on to a better place. Big One thinks he missed his Mommy. I think the shovel ride could have been a little less....ummmm...bumpy or maybe a little more.....gentle.

Darn the luck.

What? You want to use your flower watering money to get another hermit crab? (my Mom pays her to water her flowers when she's out of town). Really? Well, you earned it so you get to spend it how you want. Okay, we'll go one day this week.

So we did. We got another hermit crab. She named him/her/it Crabby (so original, I know). Crabby apparently didn't like his new home and never would come out of his shell. It was decked out too, with all the latest in Hermit Crabitat gear. Big One read that hermit crabs are very social and thought maybe he was depressed and might need a friend so PUHHHLEASSSEEE could we go back and get just one more crab so he won't die of lonliness? (well when you put it that way.....) So here we go back to Petsmart again.

New crab. This one had a name before it was even picked out. This one was named Shellby (we are getting better with the names). So now Crabby will have a friend and life will be grand. Yee Haw.

We get home and Big One runs upstairs to get the crabitat and bring it down to introduce the two and show Shellby her new home (as a rule gender of the crabs is determined in our house by whatever she decides to name them, as are stuffed animals, fish, turtles, and butterflies...which are all girls by the way).

Imagine the most ear curdling scream you can.....MOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYYY.....come here. Come here please please please come here. AHHHHHHH....Mommy I need you, come here quick hurry hurry hurry come here. What is it Big One? I'm trying to feed Little One, I can't leave her downstairs honey, can't you tell me what the problem is? Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself, is it Bella? What's wrong???? "No Mommy, you HAVE to come here, please". Seriously Big One, please TELL me what the problem is, it's kind of an inconvenient time and if it's something silly I'm going to be very angry. (now crying) PLEASE Mommy. Please come here. (now I'm getting irritated because she's this upset and won't give even the slightest hint as to what is the problem).

So I get Little One and go upstairs.

Crabby came out of his shell.

Have you ever seen a hermit crab out of it's shell?

It's not pretty. It's quite disturbing. It's an alien.

"Holy Shitake"

I have never seen anything like it. Yeah......I'm not touching that Big One. You are on your own. You are the one that wanted hermit crabs.

"But Mommy......"

to be continued.....I have to pee and I have a meeting in 5


vanna said...

well done peeing yet??? left me hanging again....hello anyone home...come out of your shell and tell us what happened next!!

headbitingprincess said...

LMAO !!!!!
Hermit crabs will come completely out of their shells - do you have other shells in the crabitat ? if not i would suggest a few -
sometimes they outgrow their shells and move on to new ones
and yes - they are doggone * shutters* nasty !! looking .. but i promise u that is normal .

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