thanks to you......

Me? Mine? Seriously? Wow.....I don't know what to say.....except Amy Amy has been doing too many of Jillian's crunches and it's gone to her head!

But still.......WOW.......thank you so much! What a great birthday present! Wait a minute...I see what's going on here......so that's it, you felt bad for not getting me a gift so you awarded me out of guilt....

BRILLIANT! I'll take it!

So now I have to add five things I'm addicted to:

1. I'm embarrassed to say this but I'm totally addicted to the Sims game on Big One's Wii....I'm not even a gamer per se but she got me sucked in and now I can't stop playing it!
2. Dr. Pepper (preferably fountain drink)
3. My LG Lotus phone
4. My new Photoshop and Corel Paint software
5. Gain

And now link to 5 blogs I think are fabulous!:

1. More Wine Please!
2. My Therapy
3. Cheaper than Therapy
4. This Mom Can Shop
5. The Housewife Diaries

Thank you again Amy! (wink)

Thousand Words Thursday

Thirty seven years ago today my mother woke up with a pain in her side and a wet bed. She got up and decided to drive herself to the hospital stopping at the bank along the way to get some cash. She parked the car and walked into the emergency room and waited her turn. The nurse looked at her and asked why she was there, she didn't seem hurt and was awfully calm to be in the ER. Mom said she was in labor and it was almost time. They did not believe her. An hour later I was born.

One year ago today I was also in the hospital, not the ER but on the High Risk floor of the very same hospital my Mother gave birth to me in losing my mind patiently awaiting the arrival of Little One. I had been there almost one month at that point and had missed Big One's birthday and party and was now celebrating my own birthday in my little hospital room.....I WAS allowed to leave my room for a 10 minute wheelchair ride! Four extremely long days later after a big bleed and an emergency c-section on March 1, 2008, Little One joined us weighing in at 4lbs. 13oz., 17 1/2 inches long. She was a little over 6 weeks early and remained in the NICU for a month after that. So, after that long winded introduction....today my Thousand Words go to Little One and my Mom.....

(this is me, Big One and Little One two days after she was born in the NICU. They let us get her out of the isolette to hold her for a few minutes)

(This is a cropped version of a scanned snapshot of Little One that same day....she was unbelievably tiny. Just amazing. She lost down to 4lbs. 6oz. that day)

(and this was at Christmas.....my Mom holding Little One.....amazing that little tiny fragile 4lb. baby turned into this healthy chunky eating machine!! What a difference!)

For more Thousand Words Thursday visit the amazing Jen at Cheaper than Therapy!

Would You Rather Wednesday!

Look what time it is already.......time for another (yawn) installment of Would You Rather Wednesday......

First up we have Vanity.....

1. Would you rather have a footlong eyelash that you can never pluck OR an earlobe the size of a basketball?

Next up we have Social Quandry......

2. Would you rather stay single forever and loads and loads of the best friends ever OR marry happily but never ever have any friends?

And last today we have Patience....

3. Would you rather have one wish granted today or three wishes granted in 10 years?

...and if you live at my house the question lately is would you rather get up to put the kitten on lock-down in the office so she'll quit playing with your hair at approximately 1:30am EVERY night (kitten on a stick anyone?) OR go upstairs to administer cough medicine at regular intervals to sick minis.........trust me, either way you are gettin no sleep at my casa.......

Thanks to those who play along......and for those of you that don't I am sticking my tongue out at you! Happy Hump Day!

Flashback......

To the 1930's.....

These are great! The first one is my favorite.....who knew such promiscuity was advertised in the 1930's? and still so true today!


at least they were promoting safe sex, right?

Um, yeah......we all know there were no women doctors in the 1930's........seriously

So this has been the answer all along? Tapeworms in a can? I still don't think I could do it...sanitized or not

Someone was actually paid to write this next ad and in the 1930's I'll just bet it was a man......Lysol....come on

(if you can't read it.....this is what the ad says...."Day after heartbreaking day I was held in an unyielding web...a web spun by my husband's indifference. I couldn't reach him anymore! Was the fault mine? Well...thinking you know about feminine hygeine, yet trusting to now and then care, can make all the difference in married happiness, as my doctor pointed out. He said never to run such careless risks...prescribed "Lysol" brand disinfectant for douching--always.

Oh, the joy of finding Tom's love and companionship once more! Believe me, I follow to the letter my doctor's instructions on feminine hygiene...always use "Lysol" for douching! I wouldn't be satisfied now with salt, soda or other household solutions. Not with "Lysol" a proven germ killer that cleanses so gently yet so thoroughly. It's easy to use too and economical. The very best part is "Lysol" really works!"

and if this is all it takes to be happy......

Now I have been known to partake in the occasional cigarette when I drink but odds are not in your favor if you think blowing cigarette smoke in my face will make me swoon and follow you around........

cause who doesn't carry around a can opener in their pocket?

ahhh, Some Day has arrived......thank God! I'm so glad I live in the land of "Some Day"

in a nutshell........

Well well, it has been a while, no?

Doesn't it go something like "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade"? well, how long do you have to ferment them to turn them into wine? I don't much like lemonade but I've been dealt an assload of lemons the past couple weeks and the hits just keep on coming....I figure I have enough lemons to open I winery if I could figure out the whole fermentation process and all...

Let's start with Little One. She's just been an absolute mess. Sick sick and more sick. Oh, and then after all that, she was sick again. We visited the pediatric ER and the pediatrician so many times I lost count and then she got sick some more. So, that about wraps her up.....

But she will be turning a year old this Sunday and WOW, when did that happen?

Moving on to Big One we have mega-constipation and stomach issues requiring yet ANOTHER pediatric ER visit (which thanks to the makers of Pediatric Fleet Enema and Miralax we have overcome). There have been lots of dietary changes and poop-charting......okay, not really charting as in making her write it down and all that but she is asked the barrage of "did you poop today? how many times? was it hard or soft or watery? and TMI anyone?

Big One is suddenly way concerned about hair and clothes and the right shoes with the right outfit and nails and jewelry and where did this little diva come from and can I have my tomboy daughter back? We are only seven years old folks......seriously, is it time for this already? Does that mean I can expect Little One to turn on me at age 3? She and her 'mean girl' frenemies at the afterschool are constantly changing status. Flip flopping between loving each other and being best friends to hurting each others feelings and making each other cry. They are TOO.YOUNG.FOR.THIS......PERIOD PERIOD PERIOD. I want my simple life is not complicated little girl back dammit!

The Husband.....well, to be honest nothing really changed there. Same old same old...

We do have this thing where they are trying to re-district our neighborhood into the WORST district around here in the worst neighborhood with the delinquent children. The schools in that district are like zoos. They are old and run down and just ZOOS!! It will not only be a devastating blow to our children's quality of education and schooling but it will force our property value into nonexistence. We won't be able to give our house away. So UP IN ARMS are what we are!! It's taken up a lot of my time all the calling and organizing and copying and passing out and not to mention the panty-waddige it's causing.....cause trust me, there are panties in a bunch all over my 'hood these days!

My dad's cancer has a mind of it's own and apparently more life than we originally thought after surgery so there's been that going on (prayers and crossed fingers all around please!)

And then there is me.....my birthday is Thursday and let's just say we are NOT looking forward to it much. I'm turning 37 and it's creeping too close to 40......late 30's........UGHHH....... and on top of that I've been put on short time at work so that makes me and the Husband both on short time. Fan-freaking-tastic. We never really liked paying our bills anyway.

and I miss my blogging. I miss my board (and bored) friends. I miss having time to play on Facecrack and Tweet and stuff.........please hang with me.....don't leave.......embrace my neediness in your comment hugginess............I need love and hugs and such and thanks Stephenie Meyer for not finishing Midnight Sun.....preciate that girlfriend......why? Just finish it already....I need more Edward. Just when I thought I was getting over it I decide to start listening to the new Patricia Cornwell Scarpetta and dammit.......I used to love Scarpetta.....and she's still okay, but she's got nothing on Edward and Bella (mostly Edward, but okay, Bella too) and when did this turn into an Ode to Edward?

Anyway, that's what's been up in a nutshell but, I'm back this week. Here all week folks and I promise promise pinky swear promise I'll be better than this depressing crapfest!!

Would You Rather Wednesday

So I can't find my header for WYRW for some reason today. My computer seems to have a life of it's own these days.....wonder what it's twitter name is...

Would you rather sit in the pediatric emergency room with your seven year old screaming doubled over in pain after 5 days of stomach aches for 10 hours OR sit the the pediatric emergency room with your almost one year old that has RSV AGAIN and does not like to be held or be still and desperately wants down onto the germ infested cesspool ER floor screaming, wheezing, and madder than hell for 2 days.

Oh......wait, that wasn't supposed to be today's Would You Rather.....oh yeah, that was part of my last 5 days.....a small part if that tells you how life's been going

The REAL WYRW is here:

1. Would you rather slide down a 50 foot razor blade into a vat of alcohol, or suck all the snot out of a dog's nose until its head caves in?

2. Would you rather be forced to preface everything you say with the phrase "Tuck it in" under threat of being slapped, or have a magnetic head?

3. Spend a night alone in a supposedly haunted house?Spend the night alone camping in a mountain forest?

Hey

Just wanted to say HELLO!!

I'll catch up later......I know I'm so off on my posting. It's been so crazy and I don't know where to begin.

There has been lots of hospital trips, sick minis, work stuff, family drama involving a new tenant in my offset garage, and neighborhood drama that will be forthcoming and losing a group of "friends" that I will not elaborate on.

Lots of things to discuss and not discuss......no time now......Little One is having some tests this afternoon

Be back later maybe....tomorrow for sure!

Why Babies Have Mothers

Would You Rather Wednesday

So it's that time again. I enjoy your responses so much......I just forget to post my own. Damn me all to hell. I'll remember this time. Pinky swear. I'm not kidding, really I will......in fact, hold your breath!

Without further adieu.....here we go

1. Would you rather have a third eye in the middle of your head for the rest of your life or a horn in the middle of your head?

2. Would you rather be stranded on an island alone or with someone you hate?

3. Would you rather be 4'1" or 7'9"?

and since I'm such a loser and forget to do my own games I'll give an extra this week...

4. Would you rather know it all or have it all?

Don't forget I want details......no fun if you don't play

So throw me a bone this close to Valentine's Day and Lurkers Play the Games Today! and not just here......if you normally just read the posts and move on, be a sport and leave some comment love this Valentine's week and not just for me.....for all your blogs. Comment comment comment. Not just today, but every day this week. If you like to read our blogs and you want us to keep blogging, let us know, we are comment junkies, comment whores if you will, but I encourage every lurker to come out of hiding this week. Come on, it's Valentine's Week, show us some love.....

7 going on 25

I know I was going to do the usual Birthday tribute to Big One for her birthday on Saturday and I know you were all just on pins and needles waiting for the gushy mushfest post about how she's the light of my life...the wind beneath my wings if you will....BUT, someone has been so filled with attitude and sass that the whole "wind beneath my wings" feeling has become more of a "sand in my eye" , "thorn in my side" , "boil on the butt of humanity" feeling, and I'm not mentioning any names but it starts with a Big and ends with a One.

WHERE did this little diva come from? There is lots of eye rolling and attitude. Makes me want to slap the teeth out of her head (disclaimer: I would never REALLY do that...)

I want my sweet innocent loving happy nice obedient low key fun loving little girl back.....

If you see her you will let me know, yes?

she looks like this....

but bigger with less angelic adorableness and a lot more attitude....

All Aboard!

Let's take a ride on the crazy train this morning shall we?

Anyone catch the interview with the octuplet baby machine this morning? Me neither because I'm WORKING people....but I might have stumbled upon it on the internet this morning and Hello world, my name is Crazy McNeedsSomeHelp...

And seriously...are those lips real? The bottom looks like it could be but the top looks like someone may have had some filler....does it not?

This clearly educated woman who is working on her Master's degree in COUNSELING no less used to work at a Mental Hospital (um, hello... Admissions Office? This is Crazy McNeedSomeHelp....) but was obviously on the wrong side of THAT desk if you know what I mean...

Who has 6 children alone with no job and no income and no spouse and thinks, Oh what the hay, what's one more? And then has SIX more embryos implanted thinking, well, maybe one might take....knock knock knock....hello? The lights are on, but no body's home folks...

And the funny part is that she wants us all to understand how much she loves her children, I mean she holds them each for 45 minutes every day, who cares if she has no money or job or spouse or place to live, she holds them each 45 minutes a day. Isn't that enough? Do they really need food and shelter and clothing and diapers? As a counselor does she really not see how the rest of us think she may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer? I mean come on..... Really?

Really?

REALLY?

Edited to add link to watch video and read story HERE

I've got to go, I think it's almost time for Little One's 45 minutes of holding....

Caption the Cartoon above here if you're interested

Thousand Words Thursday

This is not the best quality photo....it's a copy but it makes me long for warm weather and the lakehouse.....

Big One.....I think she was about 18 months here. She luurrrrved her some sunglasses...

Le sigh......my baby is going to be seven years old in two days....tribute to Big One tomorrow!


For more Thousand Words Thursday.....visit Jen at Cheaper than Therapy!

Bank of Alison

This appears to be my wallet.......
But really it's my husband's ATM machine.......

He "just doesn't have time to go by the bank"......because obviously I have all the time in the world and can just go to the bank whenever my little heart desires. Nothing pisses me off more (well, okay...that might be a slight exaggeration...) than when I THINK I have cash in my wallet and I go to pay for something with said cash only to find that said cash has been taken by STUPID husband!!

And how is your day?

Who's your Baby Daddy?

This is for my bloggy friends that want more babies.....and for those of us who want to know what it would look like if we had a baby with Edward Cullen!!!

I should upload mine.....maybe I will.....

Try it for yourself and if you don't have pictures of Edward (or Robert or whoever you want your babydaddy to be....google it!!)

It's fun......I may be doing it for a while!!

http://www.vw.com/vwhype/babymaker/en/us/

ENJOY!!

Groundhog Day

Who didn't know it was Groundhog Day besides me? I had no clue. I was also bummed to hear there will be 6 more weeks of winter but oh well, I can't afford new clothes for spring this year anyway so BOOOOO HISSSSSS......

So like the movie Groundhog Day where Bill Murray lives the same day over and over and over and over and over again, I was thinking whether there was a day in my life that I would want to relive over and over and over again.

I can't say I'd want to do childbirth over again for sure and I don't really want to relive my wedding day, it was great and all but it was hotter than 40 hells and I was so filled with anxiety that 5 Xanax couldn't touch my nerves and my mother was OUT.of.control. so Nope, no thank you, don't want to go there again. I'm really struggling to think of one single day that I would want to relive over and over again. I've had plenty of great days, wonderful days, FANTASTIC days but I'm not sure I'd want to be stuck in any of them forever. I'm sure there were lots of days I wouldn't mind revisiting from college and my twenties and I'm sure as a little girl there were a million days I'd like to have a do-over on, but to live one day over and over again. I'm not sure there will ever be a day I will want to spend eternity in. Maybe, but not one I can imagine as of this day.

What about you? Is there a day you'd relive over and over and over like that? Enlighten me, perhaps I have a bad attitude about forever and need some better minds to help me think.....

So anyway, while you ponder that bit of nonsense grab a glass of wine and call your BFF and talk about it.....it's still a 'holiday' after all. Might as well celebrate right? Or is it a 'holiday'? I mean, I know no one gets off work for it or anything but it's printed on the damn calendar every year so that must mean something right?

Oh fuckit, just drink a glass of wine, who needs an excuse anyway? Certainly not me, I went through 4 bottles this weekend (ahem).....