Wednesday, August 19, 2009

the Lunch Lady

I love McMommy......who doesn't? But this post hit home today because I swear on all that is holy this woman was my "lunch duty" partner at Big One's school Friday.

It was exhausting and annoying and I think I left skidmarks trying to get the hell out of dodge at 1:00 when my shift was over.

I work. I know a lot of Mom's don't. I know there is much controversy over the issue. I refuse to take part in the "Who's the Better Mother" game. Do what you gotta do, I do what I gotta do. I work. Get over it.

I get one day off a week (since around Christmas business is very slow and is terrifyingly so right now, but because of that I now work 4 days a week). My Big One goes to a Charter School and because of that we as a family are required to do volunteer work at the school 6 hours per month or 60 hours per year. I signed up to do lunch duty twice a month. That gives us 6 hours a month and gets it over with and out of the way. Anything extra we do we just pat ourselves on the back for. Don't get me wrong, I am all for helping out and definitely want to be involved. It's good for her, it's good for us. Stay in touch with what goes on in your children's lives. It's important. Period.

Anyway, so I show up to the school at my designated time. I'm not sure where I am supposed to go or anything since we are new to this school this year and I don't really know anyone yet. I get signed in and find out where to go and get a little turned around getting there. I finally find my spot and walk in and introduce myself. Mostannoyingmotherever is standing there and was apparently salivating at the notion of the "new girl" showing up late or perhaps not at all. I could tell she was disappointed when I walked in and wasn't late and did show up. Never met the lady but I could tell. I can tell she doesn't like me already. She's never even met me or laid eyes on me before but I can tell I'm going to cramp her style.

According to her she's been at the school a year and she does lunch every Friday but a lot more days too. She also mans the uniform exchange closet, and does library booking as well. She does the concession stands for all the football games and basketball games, even though she only has one of her four kids at the upper school. She's at the school every day for no less than 5 hours. She volunteers in each of her children's classrooms one day a week as well (I'm sure they love that).

That's great. Sounds like you are very involved. I'm sure the school appreciates it. (while lunchroom supervisor rolls her eyes behind her.....I like her already)

She proceeds to take over and run the joint during the whole lunch operation, which is fine with me, but I want to help, not just stand there feeling useless. She didn't want me to and wouldn't let me. It's like she got mad at me when I asked questions or offered more help or anything. She pretty much stood in front of me any time I tried to talk to the ACTUAL lunch supervisor, the one that WORKS there for a paycheck. She's pushy and controlling and she hates me.'s just lunch. I don't have time for all that school I'm better than you crap. I've got no patience for that catty pettiness. But she pissed me off when she started being a bitch to the kids for no good reason. She is like the lunch nazi. She's quite a character.

Then, one of her kids came through the line. She turned into an arch angel. As soon as she shoved me out of the way so she could hand him his milk and pizza she turned to me and said "that's my Shawn". As I pick myself up off the floor I'm all......seems like a nice kid.

Oh, Shawn is a triple black belt and Shawn is captain of the soccer team and Shawn does competitive gymnastics and goes to work out for 7 hours every Saturday. Shawn is a boy scout aren't you Shawn and Shawn went to summer camp for gifted children for 3 weeks didn't you Shawn and Shawn's a this and a that and HELLO......he's a FIRST GRADER. Does he ever have time to be just a first grader or chill at home or play in the yard or be a kid? Meanwhile poor Shawn is trying to get back to his table and eat his lunch with the rest of the class, clearly embarrassed by his mother's outburst.

I just looked at her and smiled. She went on to explain all the accomplishments and stuff of her other kids, except the one whom she barely spoke of because his resume clearly was not up to snuff.

She didn't bother asking about my kids and I didn't bother telling her.

She is like that little dog in the cartoons that is constantly jumping up annoying the hell out of the big dog. The big dog being the Actual Lunch Lady. She kind of takes over.

I hate her.

I get to work with her on Fridays.



Sherrie said...

Women like that do all moms and women in general a disservice. And God bless you for doing lunch duty. I teach 7th grade and avoid the cafeteria at lunchtime at all costs. Love your blog and you wry sense of humor.

kristi said...

Awwww hells no!

Jennifer said...

Oh, but you (I) could have so much fun with her. These kinds of people are the very best kinds to mess with. Next time, be sure to get there early and be chatting it up with the supervisor (insert evil laugh here).

Kelly said...

There's always one in every group!! poor kid.

Merrie said...

Lunch nazi -- I love it. Why are there always moms like this? Aren't we all there for the betterment of the school? Sheesh, lady. I feel sorry for her kids!

vanna said...

oh i am liking Jennifer's mess with her strategy....liking it a lot!!

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