The Mama Test

I was out walking with my 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
'Why ?' my daughter asked. 'Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs,' I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Mama, how do you know all this stuff ? You are so smart.'

I was thinking quickly and replied, 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mama Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mama.'

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. 'Oh.....I get it!' she beamed. 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad.'

'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.


(someone sent this to me and although I've seen it before as soon as I got to the end my brain still says Ain't that the DAMN truth!!!)

Pass it on.....

this is truly and inspirational child and story....please take the time to read it and then pass it on. This little angel needs our help....

The internet is a powerful thing when it needs to be.....

thousand words thursday

Wow...it's Thursday again already. This has been one of those weeks. I'd like a do-over please.

This little beauty I had the pleasure of photographing last weekend at the Greenway......she and her brother were magnificent subjects....all busy and curious. It was good.

Join Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more Thousand Words Thursday!

not that you care, but......

• Anyone heard of Zoes Kitchen? It's a chain type place, I hesitate to call it a restaurant because it's more like fast food, but the food is more on the healthy side. No greasy french fries and milk shakes......I know, what's the point....but really, it is DELISH!! I'm so in love with a sandwich called the Gruben.

• Why does 10 minutes worth of homework have to take 2 hours? If you would just sit down and do it and stop all the bitching and moaning it would only take 10 minutes....if that. Honest to GAH......some days I want to poke out my eyeballs with a fork and stick red hot pokers in my ears. I don't deal well with whining.

• I need to get my hair did. In the worst way. Making my appointment now.

• My husband's family is like a real life soap opera and boy has it gotten ugly lately. Every week there is a new episode with a dramatic peak that leaves you hanging on for more. It really is like living a reality show. It's funny and sad at the same time. A Dramady (dramedy?) if you will. I should tell those stories....some of you have heard some of them from my old Yahoo group.....oh it's gotten so much better (or juicier I should say) over the last year.

• Finally got our refinancing done. Feel pretty good about it. Saved about $300 a month. Not bad and sorely needed now with me on 4 days a week.

• What is the best teeth whitening to do at home. There is a big discussion going on about this in my GNO group and I want outside opinions.......if you are into that sort of thing, do tell

• I thought I loved mineral makeup. We started off with a bang...it covered everything and left my skin looking flawless and smooth. Woot!! Loving it so far. I went to the restroom at work about 2 hours later and my skin looked like someone had baked a cake on it and forgot to grease and flour the pans.....sheesh what a mess. Not loving it. Not loving it at all. The color of it seemed different later on too, like it no longer matched my skin tone, kind of got darker or something. Yuck.

• Little One will be 18 months old a week from today. I just can't believe that. What a difference a year makes.

• I want to know where my friend Jodi got her motivation and continues to get it. I want to know how much she's lost, what her secrets are and what kind of work outs she does. Need to know. Want to know. I admire her. She is incredibly motivated and so funny. She and my other friend Jennifer are two of the funniest and most sincere people I've never met. Yes......I've never met them......love them to DEATH though. MWAH!!!

• I am a little nervous about this season. Our defense couldn't beat their way out of a wet paper bag and our offense is mediocre at best. Only 2 games into preseason and we've lost 3 starting defensive players. Not looking good........it's gonna be a long season. I will not give up. One thing you will never be able to call me is a fair weather fan. Thick and thin baby....thick and thin.

• What do your minis eat? Do they eat what you eat for dinner or are you fixing 19 different meals every night like me? I need ideas. Big One is going to turn into a hot dog with mandarin oranges and broccoli on the side soon. It won't be pretty.

• And while I'm being nosey, what kind of vitamins do your minis take? Mine are liking the Finding Nemo gummy vites right now but Big One only likes the orange ones and there are about 5 orange ones in every bottle. Why is it that I can't find a vitamin she will eat every color of? There is always an issue. ALWAYS. That's my girl...

• Big One and her three little proteges from across the street are camping out in our backyard this Friday night. The adults plan to grill out and drink adult beverages while attempting to roast marshmallows and make smores over the fire pit. The girls (a 13 year old, a 10 year old and two 7 year olds) will do lots of giggling and story telling. We are taking bets on what time they end up at home in their beds.

• Melanie Griffith back in rehab. Really. Who cares. Really.

• Michael Jackson's death ruled a homicide. Who didn't see that coming.

• Curb Your Enthusiasm starts back in September. Woot woot!! I'm still catching up on True Blood season 1 through Netflix before I watch season 2 now airing. They only send one disc at a time and each one only has 2 episodes on it. Season 2 will be over by the time I get caught up.

• Just finished a good audio book that is both dark and at some times hard to listen too, but very very good. Dark Places by Gillian Flynn.

That's all I got right now......I'll be back if my brain starts working, though I wouldn't hold my breath.

get your groove on girl!

little one was so tired......notice the yawn at the end.....

not too tired to get her groove on!

(taken from my cell phone...sorrry for quality!!)

A Thousand Words Thursday

I cannot express how excited and happy and giddy I am that football season is here. I am a huge football geek. I have always loved the game, not like since I was in college or since I was in high school....but always. Since I was little. I love it. Used to be a 49ers fan until we finally got our own team in '95. I now bleed blue and black and silver.....but I will watch no matter who is playing.

This was when I won tickets for the annual Countdown to Kickoff Luncheon held every year. We got to meet the whole team and all the coaches in person. There was at least one player and coach at every table. I was lucky enough to sit RIGHT BESIDE one of my very very favorite players of all time. Not just a good player, but a good person. He is now retired. #30 Mike Minter. Handsome devil.....

I also won a raffle for a Julius Peppers autographed Superbowl jersey.....the one he actually wore during the media portion of that day. It is framed in my office at home, right next to Kris Jenkins #77. There is a plethora of autographed crap-o-la in my office.....balls, helmets, glossies, gloves.....and the list goes on. I have met so many of them now it's crazy. I love it.

THEY are my superstars. THEY are my Brad Pitts and Jonas Brothers and Robert Pattinsons. They are the ones I get all starry eyed over meeting. I love me some football and they are the stars!

Now Tony HOmo can suck it and Michael Vick can swallow. There are many more on my list of don't likes but we'll not get into all that.....

Go Panthers! I am READY for some football!! Bring it!

Join Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more Thousand Words Thursday!

the Lunch Lady

I love McMommy......who doesn't? But this post hit home today because I swear on all that is holy this woman was my "lunch duty" partner at Big One's school Friday.

It was exhausting and annoying and I think I left skidmarks trying to get the hell out of dodge at 1:00 when my shift was over.

I work. I know a lot of Mom's don't. I know there is much controversy over the issue. I refuse to take part in the "Who's the Better Mother" game. Do what you gotta do, I do what I gotta do. I work. Get over it.

I get one day off a week (since around Christmas business is very slow and is terrifyingly so right now, but because of that I now work 4 days a week). My Big One goes to a Charter School and because of that we as a family are required to do volunteer work at the school 6 hours per month or 60 hours per year. I signed up to do lunch duty twice a month. That gives us 6 hours a month and gets it over with and out of the way. Anything extra we do we just pat ourselves on the back for. Don't get me wrong, I am all for helping out and definitely want to be involved. It's good for her, it's good for us. Stay in touch with what goes on in your children's lives. It's important. Period.

Anyway, so I show up to the school at my designated time. I'm not sure where I am supposed to go or anything since we are new to this school this year and I don't really know anyone yet. I get signed in and find out where to go and get a little turned around getting there. I finally find my spot and walk in and introduce myself. Mostannoyingmotherever is standing there and was apparently salivating at the notion of the "new girl" showing up late or perhaps not at all. I could tell she was disappointed when I walked in and wasn't late and did show up. Never met the lady but I could tell. I can tell she doesn't like me already. She's never even met me or laid eyes on me before but I can tell I'm going to cramp her style.

According to her she's been at the school a year and she does lunch every Friday but a lot more days too. She also mans the uniform exchange closet, and does library booking as well. She does the concession stands for all the football games and basketball games, even though she only has one of her four kids at the upper school. She's at the school every day for no less than 5 hours. She volunteers in each of her children's classrooms one day a week as well (I'm sure they love that).

That's great. Sounds like you are very involved. I'm sure the school appreciates it. (while lunchroom supervisor rolls her eyes behind her.....I like her already)

She proceeds to take over and run the joint during the whole lunch operation, which is fine with me, but I want to help, not just stand there feeling useless. She didn't want me to and wouldn't let me. It's like she got mad at me when I asked questions or offered more help or anything. She pretty much stood in front of me any time I tried to talk to the ACTUAL lunch supervisor, the one that WORKS there for a paycheck. She's pushy and controlling and she hates me.

Whatev......it's just lunch. I don't have time for all that school I'm better than you crap. I've got no patience for that catty pettiness. But she pissed me off when she started being a bitch to the kids for no good reason. She is like the lunch nazi. She's quite a character.

Then, one of her kids came through the line. She turned into an arch angel. As soon as she shoved me out of the way so she could hand him his milk and pizza she turned to me and said "that's my Shawn". As I pick myself up off the floor I'm all......seems like a nice kid.

Oh, Shawn is a triple black belt and Shawn is captain of the soccer team and Shawn does competitive gymnastics and goes to work out for 7 hours every Saturday. Shawn is a boy scout aren't you Shawn and Shawn went to summer camp for gifted children for 3 weeks didn't you Shawn and Shawn's a this and a that and HELLO......he's a FIRST GRADER. Does he ever have time to be just a first grader or chill at home or play in the yard or be a kid? Meanwhile poor Shawn is trying to get back to his table and eat his lunch with the rest of the class, clearly embarrassed by his mother's outburst.

I just looked at her and smiled. She went on to explain all the accomplishments and stuff of her other kids, except the one whom she barely spoke of because his resume clearly was not up to snuff.

She didn't bother asking about my kids and I didn't bother telling her.

She is like that little dog in the cartoons that is constantly jumping up annoying the hell out of the big dog. The big dog being the Actual Lunch Lady. She kind of takes over.

I hate her.

I get to work with her on Fridays.

Yippie.

joining the WWE

This little angel has been quite sick. In case you weren't aware, she was a preemie and due to her delayed lung development has chronic bronchiolitis, which they tell me she will outgrow (hearing me God?).

She has had a particularly bad case this past week and by Saturday when all the usual suspects (OraPred, antibiotic, Albuterol & Pulmacort and some cough medicine for good measure) weren't kicking it, or even touching it, we went back to the doctor.

She received a steroid injection while she was there. This was as un-fun as it gets. She eventually got over the tragedy of getting a shot. Drama all over the doctor's office.....but....

By Saturday evening she had morphed into the devil incarnate

I think my 17 month old has "roid rage"....and I'm not even kidding

that or she is going to be the worst and meanest mini with the most horrendous temper in the history of mankind.

I choose roid rage......it just has to go away.....it just has to