Because I Said So

Trend Micro

2011-05-16T10:10:00.003-04:00

If you have kids that use the internet, you're going to be very interested in this!

Just go to the website and check it out. I've been using it for almost a month and I think it's fantastic! I worry about my kids on the computer and scary internet predators and really just allowing them full access to all of the ludacris, scary and innappropriate stuff floating around in cyberspace...I was both thrilled and curious when I was asked to try it and review so although I'm in the middle of this campaign...I think you should try it!!

BzzAgent Campaign...The Factor Tree

2011-03-09T10:40:00.004-05:00

This website is so awesome if you have a child that needs a little extra help learning math and math facts. Get your free 2 week no-strings-attached-and-no-credit-card-or-financial information-needed trial!! Try it...use coupon code BZF
Just go to http://www.thefactortree.com/ to sign up!

BzzAgent Campaign...Covergirl

2011-03-09T10:28:00.003-05:00

I'm bringing the blog back...but not to tell personal stories about my life and family anymore, decided to stop doing that in 2009 for many reasons but brought it back out to share with you all BzzAgent and other freebie websites and offers you might be interested in!! If you haven't signed up for BzzAgent...you really should! Free stuff and state your honest unbiased opinions! Get rewards points and stuff!!! I will be posting the Bzzzzz about some of the products and campaigns here....you decide!

Like Covergirl on Facebook and you will see all the benefits!!

http://www.facebook.com/covergirl?v=app_160134610689223&sk=app_160134610689223

Fight for Preemies

2009-11-17T11:06:00.004-05:00

You all know my fiery Little One? 20 months ago I was in the hospital. Living....waiting...hoping. My little one was able to hold out and arrived 6 weeks early. I had a placenta previa. I had several bleeds that landed she and I in the hospital until she arrived. She spent 4 weeks in the NICU until she reached 5 lbs and hit all her marks and was able to get off the machines and monitors and come home with us. The most glorious day of our lives to date.

We were lucky.

We still worry every time she gets sick. She is sick a lot. Her premature systems have not caught up yet. This is a problem in premature babies. They get and stay sick a lot. A LOT A LOT. And she can't just get a cold and get over it like most kids. If a germ walks past her she gets sick and stays sick for weeks. Sometimes it involves hospital visits but always involves doctor visits and she's not over the hump yet. She won't be until she's well on her way to 3 years old at least. She got a cold 3 weeks ago and is still sick. It went from cold to bronchitis to pneumonia. Almost every time. She is on 2 nebs, oral steroids, antibiotics, allergy meds, cough/cold medicine and sometimes singulair. This is constant. But again, we are lucky and thankful that we still have her and that she is getting stronger every day and month that goes by.

Please join the fight......please be aware........please pass it on....

Today is National Fight for Preemies Day....to find out more go to The March of Dimes - Fight For Preemies

BOO to YOU!!

2009-11-02T09:25:00.002-05:00

let's see, what have I been up to?

Croup+Bronchitis+Sinus Infection+Tubes Out=Double Ear Infections in both ears and one helluva ill ass 20 month old (ill in the literal and figurative sense equally). We did manage a couple hours of good on Halloween for her and then it all went downhill. Luckily for you I captured it on film!

Anyway, Big One had a great time and I thought her costume turned out so good!!!

catching up

2009-10-19T13:47:00.005-04:00

just thought I'd drop in and dust the cobwebs a little bit around here

long time no see!

It's been a while and my excuse is.....well, I have no excuse, other than sick children and busy-ness. Like we aren't all busy, right? Lame, I know....to be honest I've not felt inspired or witty or anything lately.

Put on your big girl panties and deal with it, right? I know I know. Anyway, while I try to come up with a better tomorrow you can enjoy these pictures of my minis at the pumpkin patch yesterday. Me and my BFF took all the littles to the pumpkin patch/hayride/petting barn place. You would have thought it was Little One's first public outing...she was beside herself.

Big One spent the majority of her time chasing Little One and "protecting" her from all those mean big kids that don't watch out for little ones in the hay mazes and stuff. It was fun.

I can't breathe today. Not sure if it's all that damn hay or if the girls have given me their creeping crud. Either way my sinuses are having a bad day. Sucks to be me. Send in the Waaaambulance.....

A Thousand Word Thursday - the BFF edition

2009-09-24T10:29:00.018-04:00

2 1/2 yrs.

3 yrs.

4 yrs.

4 1/2 yrs.

5 yrs.

6 yrs.

7 yrs.

Big One and her main sidekick....her BFF if you will. These two have known one another since they were 6 weeks old and been inseparable since they could talk. They have literally grown up before my eyes (and now yours too!)

Join Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more Thousand Words Thursday!!

or maybe she's afraid of my driving? hmmmm.....

2009-09-22T13:11:00.007-04:00

We have to bring a blanket to daycare for Little One every week. Normally we just take it home on Friday, wash it and throw it back in the car so as not to forget it the following Monday. Some days Little One will not leave the classroom without her blanket. Why is unbeknownst to me because she's not particularly attached to any one blanket, stuffed animal or anything else....but we now have a small collection of them in the car.....some washed, some not.....it's hard to say which is which.

Anyway, the past few days she's decided she needs a blanket over her head while we are riding in the car. Not to play peekaboo or scare me or any of the normal blanket-on-the-head reasons. I am kind of intrigued by this new development. She does it every day now when we drop of Big One at school and rides from Big One's school to the daycare with a blanket over her head. Once in a while she'll giggle....but that's it. Strange. Can't face the morning without Sissy? Can't face the morning period? I'm with you kid, only I don't think they would condone my wearing a blanket on my head while driving my mini's around. Every time I stop at a stoplight I just hope that the people in the car beside me are distracted by something and not noticing my blanket covered kid in the carseat next door.....

Photographic evidence of this new phenomena (all separate days):

WHAT?!!! Can't a girl get her Blanket On in peace????

a Thousand Words Thursday

2009-09-17T11:23:00.005-04:00

It was about this time of year 4 years ago when Big One started ballet......the cuteness almost killed me

visit Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more Thousand Words Thursday

the one about watching recording too much TV

2009-09-16T14:10:00.003-04:00

Do ya'll do a lot of tv watching? I like to say I don't.....you know "I have two minis that keep me running crazy....who has time to watch tv?". Well honey, I must find the time somewhere because my -I Have To Record This Program Or My Life Will Cease To Have Meaning- list is not just long....it's holyshitthat'salonglist long. I don't think I realized just how many things I record until my beloved TIVO, the one I've had for (pinky swear) 11 years just died. DIED I tell you. Dead. Gone. Finito (is that how you spell it? I know ZERO spanish....or is that even spanish?)

When it died it took with it all of the programs I had recorded but hadn't gotten around to watching. Some of them were embarrassingly old but I had never deleted them because one of these days I'd get around to watching them, you know maybe when I'm at home sick one day or something.....Yeah Right! All my sick days are burned when my minis are sick, when I'm sick I just have to suck it up and soldier through....and at night I usually watch the newest stuff instead of going back and watching the older stuff. I have a sick little TIVO rating system in my head based on importance of the program. For instance I am now hooked on True Blood and had to watch all of season 1 in order on Netflix (which greatly reduced my recorded program watching time at night leading to a full TIVO which is now DEAD dammit!) before watching all of the Season 2 episodes that were patiently waiting their turn on the TIVO. All the while my TIVO is filling itself with The Cleaner and Intervention and Dateline and 20/20 and Chelsea Lately, etc. (in case you are wondering I would be flipping through all the Chelsea Lately's first to see who the guest was and deleting or watching accordingly then same with Dateline and 20/20 and then watching all the Cleaner's in order and then moving on to Intervention) and to make matters worse all the fall shows are starting back up and I'd need to make room for them as well.

Anyway, Direct TV and TIVO apparently can't come to any type of agreement and so you can't get TIVO for Direct TV anymore. You have to get a DVR. Fuck a DVR. A DVR is not a TIVO. Yes, I KNOW they do the same thing. I KNOW they are essentially the same creature. The DVR is not as user friendly as the TIVO and dammit, I miss her already. I got the TIVO back in the very beginning. I have the first model of the TIVO. I paid a wad for it and it lasted me forever. Everyone used to look at me like I had three heads when I raved about my TIVO....."what the hell is a TIVO"...the concept was just bewildering. Now I don't think I know anyone that doesn't TIVO or DVR. I begrudgingly ordered the stupid DVR and packed up my sad old TIVO, but not before writing down my Season Pass list. That's where the holyshitthat'salonglist list came from. I never realized I was recording that many programs and to be honest there was nothing I left out when programming the DVR. They are all must see's for me, or at least must-see-who-the-guest-is-or-what-the-topic-is. I record Ellen and Oprah every day but I'll bet 50% of the time at least I don't watch them.

Me and the DVR are just getting to know one another. I don't like her nearly as much as I loved my TIVO but since we have Direct TV I have no choice. It's DVR or nothing. Bitches.

I guess maybe I'll like her better once I get to know her better and maybe I'll love her more, but I doubt it. I'll miss you TIVO. I'll miss you like a long lost friend. A sister even. (okay I don't have any sisters, but if I did, I'd bet her name would be Tivo).

R.I.P. my dear sweet TIVO, you will forever be missed.

On a side note.......do you like spoilers? Do you watch a lot of TV and record stuff all the time? I have a site for you to visit, but if you don't like spoilers, then DON'T go there.....it's addictive. It covers these shows: 24, Bones, Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl, Greek, Ghost Whisperer, How I Met Your Mother, 90210, Desperate Housewives, Chuck, Heroes, Lost, Smallville, Super Natural, Ugly Betty and has a This Week On TV section. All Spoilers, so beware.....Spoilerfix

we will not forget.....

2009-09-11T08:54:00.002-04:00

a re-run from last year....

Thursday, September 11, 2008

always remember.....

do you remember where you were? what you were doing? who you were with?
I certainly do.....and since you asked.......I was at work typing (on a typewriter no less) a Fed Ex International label for a shipment to our head office in Japan. I was 5 months pregnant with Big One. The office I worked in at the time was located about 3/4 of a mile from the airport in Charlotte NC. We got a phone call from a co-workers wife just after the first tower was hit and she told us to immediately stop what we were doing and go to our computers or a TV.....we made it just in time to see the second tower hit......not something I wish to see ever again.....not something you want to see when you are pregnant or working so close to an airport, because at the time who knew that they weren't pulling this shit all over the USA? Who knew what would happen next and where? No one. No one knew and it was scary. It is still scary. It is still heartbreaking and mindless and confusing and seems incomprehensible. I remember almost every single second of the remainder of that day and if it tells you anything, I have a TERRIBLE memory. I was deeply affected, as most people were.
They closed the airport and evacuated everyone within 2 miles surrounding the airport, so we were forced to go home (which was fine with me) and couldn't come back the next day either. It was a terrifying time. It is difficult to find the right words to describe the feeling of that time.
So tell me, where were you? What were you doing? I know you remember, I think we all do.
God Bless the USA

A Sparkely Tip for You

2009-09-10T15:38:00.003-04:00

You learn something new every day right? Or so they say.....whoever "they" are.

Today wasn't a big learning day for me but I did manage one really seemingly small tidbit that I thought was cool. If you already know this then why didn't you tell me sooner and if you didn't then you should try it because, pinky swear it works better than any ultrasonic fancy schmancy jewelry store cleaning machine ever did.

I don't think my diamonds sparkled this much when they were new. I find myself looking at my rings again where normally they are just there, you know one of those things that's just been there so long you don't notice it anymore. I probably wouldn't have thought to mention it honestly but I got two compliments on my sparklers today. I'm now convinced.

I was with my Mom today at the manufacturing jewelers picking up some of my Grandmother's jewelry they were having appraised for splitting amongst the son's wives. There is controversy. Personally I could give a shit, didn't care for her all that much anyway and I'm positive the feeling was mutual, but that's getting off topic. While we were there (since I don't frequent jewelry stores..being that I can't afford nice real jewelry....I'm more of the jewelry-section-in-Target kind of girl) I asked them to clean my rings. They were happy to oblige but the owner brought my rings back out to me and told me that the absolute best way to clean your rings, better even than their machines is to get a microwave safe tupperware bowl and fill with water about 1/4 full (medium sized and not a lot of water, but enough to cover what you'll be putting in the bowl) squirt a small amount of ORIGINAL BLUE (not scented green or yellow or any of the others) DAWN (has to be Dawn) dish liquid in the bowl. Do not put your jewelry in yet. Microwave the bowl until boiling or almost boiling (2 or 3 minutes or so, sometimes less depending on the amount of water and size of bowl) and take out of microwave. (you can put soap in before or after microwaving, but I do it before) Drop your jewelry in immediately. Cool to see it foam up when your dirty jewelry hits the hot water! Leave the bowl and go about your business. Later when you come back to rinse in cool water your diamonds will be so sparkly you'll think someone came and stole yours and replaced them with brand new ones!

The Dawn (as explained by the jewelry goddess) gets the dirt and grease from your body and daily wear off safely and more effectively than any other jewelry cleaner there is and leaves no residue, just like when you use it to wash the dirt and grease off your dishes with no spots!!

Love her......might go back and give her a hug.

Got a tip? Share a tip! I love tips.......but not "I heard" tips.....only ones that you use and know work!!

A Thousand Words Thursday

2009-09-10T10:40:00.002-04:00

Big One and her "Bebo" riding my old tricycle circa 2005. Mom and Dad were moving and we were cleaning out the garage.....hence the loverly outfit that Bebo is sporting. Diggin the hat.....

Mom looks like a homeless person with her Mercedes in the background......so funny

For more A Thousand Words Thursday.....join Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy!

adult entertainment

2009-09-08T13:26:00.003-04:00

I can't tell you the last time I was in a movie theater. I can't even remember the last movie I watched in a theater. I know it was before Little One and obviously given my stellar pregnancy with her it was before then so more than two years ago.

It isn't often a movie comes around that I feel I must go see in the theater because these days they put them on DVD like 2 months after they premiere in the theater so I just wait and get it on Netflix.

The Husband and I had a rare night off from the minis Saturday and decided we'd go see this movie that all our friends and pretty much everyone in the continental United States has told us we must see. I wasn't actually sure we'd find a theater still showing it. It's been out so long I was beyond shocked to find it. Only one theater still showing it anywhere near us, so we went and had dinner and then on to the theater.

As we walked into the theater I was pretty sure we might be the only people in Charlotte or the surrounding area that hadn't already seen "the Hangover".

Hands down funniest movie I've seen since "Friday" came out in 1995. I loved it. I laughed for the entire movie. It is funny ALL the way through to the bitter end when the credits roll. If you have not seen it, you must. MUST I tell you. HI_larious. I will own it just you wait and see. It already has a home waiting for it right beside Friday on the must see rack. We don't purchase a lot of movies that don't involve princesses or talking 3 year old red monsters or that don't have Disney and/or Pixar on the case so let this one go down in the books......we will own it. It's that funny.

If you saw it and didn't think it was THAT funny......you are a Ri-tard...period.

Another episode in WalMart

2009-09-03T14:19:00.003-04:00

All I know is if that was my little girl....he'd be a dead man

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/09/02/georgia.tot.slapped/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Thousand Words Thursday

2009-09-03T08:39:00.003-04:00

These two had the sillies and would NOT smile pretty for me!!

Love those girls

See Jen at Cheaper than Therapy to play along and see all the other great photos!!!

trouble

2009-09-02T16:07:00.004-04:00

Little One.....STOP unloading the drawer onto the kitchen floor NOW! Mommy said NO! Yes...YOU..that means YOU...NO NO.

(yeah right...okay)

BUSTED!!! You little turkey.....Mommy said NO!

she looks at me and says straight into the camera.....

UH OH!!!!!

Uh Oh my ass

I have a hunch you'll be doing this today

2009-09-01T10:18:00.002-04:00

have ya'll ever heard of the website HUNCH?

Ever need help making a life changing decision or just a decision on which color pants to wear today? Don't always have a friend or confidant to help with those life altering decisions?

Well then Hunch is the place for you!

Simply answer no less than 185,000 questions about your preferences on anything from which way the toilet paper roll goes (up or down) to what you do after work (no picture of screaming crazy minis to choose from) to what show you find funniest to what you would do if served sea urchin stuffed with jellied sea urchin at a friends house...you know....life changing stuff like that, and the more you answer the more Hunch gets to know you and can easily help you make decisions on things like whether you should break up with your boyfriend or what book you should read next or if you should get a divorce or have more kids or change jobs or get a dog or not get a dog or get rid of the dog you have, move across the country, take a job in Japan, punch your annoying and highly innapropriate neighbor in the throat or kick your stupid husband in the shin and spit in his spaghetti....you know, just examples

It's mindless entertainment. Can be fun and will engross you. Even if you think it's dumb....you will continue to answer the questions and you will become transfixed.

Try it. See if Hunch can help you make that tough decision you've been floundering on and let me know how it goes!

The Mama Test

2009-08-31T14:56:00.002-04:00

I was out walking with my 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
'Why ?' my daughter asked. 'Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs,' I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Mama, how do you know all this stuff ? You are so smart.'

I was thinking quickly and replied, 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mama Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mama.'

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. 'Oh.....I get it!' she beamed. 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad.'

'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.

(someone sent this to me and although I've seen it before as soon as I got to the end my brain still says Ain't that the DAMN truth!!!)

Pass it on.....

2009-08-31T09:23:00.001-04:00

this is truly and inspirational child and story....please take the time to read it and then pass it on. This little angel needs our help....

The internet is a powerful thing when it needs to be.....

thousand words thursday

2009-08-27T10:18:00.006-04:00

Wow...it's Thursday again already. This has been one of those weeks. I'd like a do-over please.

This little beauty I had the pleasure of photographing last weekend at the Greenway......she and her brother were magnificent subjects....all busy and curious. It was good.

Join Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more Thousand Words Thursday!

not that you care, but......

2009-08-25T14:25:00.003-04:00

Anyone heard of Zoes Kitchen? It's a chain type place, I hesitate to call it a restaurant because it's more like fast food, but the food is more on the healthy side. No greasy french fries and milk shakes......I know, what's the point....but really, it is DELISH!! I'm so in love with a sandwich called the Gruben.

Why does 10 minutes worth of homework have to take 2 hours? If you would just sit down and do it and stop all the bitching and moaning it would only take 10 minutes....if that. Honest to GAH......some days I want to poke out my eyeballs with a fork and stick red hot pokers in my ears. I don't deal well with whining.

I need to get my hair did. In the worst way. Making my appointment now.

My husband's family is like a real life soap opera and boy has it gotten ugly lately. Every week there is a new episode with a dramatic peak that leaves you hanging on for more. It really is like living a reality show. It's funny and sad at the same time. A Dramady (dramedy?) if you will. I should tell those stories....some of you have heard some of them from my old Yahoo group.....oh it's gotten so much better (or juicier I should say) over the last year.

Finally got our refinancing done. Feel pretty good about it. Saved about $300 a month. Not bad and sorely needed now with me on 4 days a week.

What is the best teeth whitening to do at home. There is a big discussion going on about this in my GNO group and I want outside opinions.......if you are into that sort of thing, do tell

I thought I loved mineral makeup. We started off with a bang...it covered everything and left my skin looking flawless and smooth. Woot!! Loving it so far. I went to the restroom at work about 2 hours later and my skin looked like someone had baked a cake on it and forgot to grease and flour the pans.....sheesh what a mess. Not loving it. Not loving it at all. The color of it seemed different later on too, like it no longer matched my skin tone, kind of got darker or something. Yuck.

Little One will be 18 months old a week from today. I just can't believe that. What a difference a year makes.

I want to know where my friend Jodi got her motivation and continues to get it. I want to know how much she's lost, what her secrets are and what kind of work outs she does. Need to know. Want to know. I admire her. She is incredibly motivated and so funny. She and my other friend Jennifer are two of the funniest and most sincere people I've never met. Yes......I've never met them......love them to DEATH though. MWAH!!!

I am a little nervous about this season. Our defense couldn't beat their way out of a wet paper bag and our offense is mediocre at best. Only 2 games into preseason and we've lost 3 starting defensive players. Not looking good........it's gonna be a long season. I will not give up. One thing you will never be able to call me is a fair weather fan. Thick and thin baby....thick and thin.

What do your minis eat? Do they eat what you eat for dinner or are you fixing 19 different meals every night like me? I need ideas. Big One is going to turn into a hot dog with mandarin oranges and broccoli on the side soon. It won't be pretty.

And while I'm being nosey, what kind of vitamins do your minis take? Mine are liking the Finding Nemo gummy vites right now but Big One only likes the orange ones and there are about 5 orange ones in every bottle. Why is it that I can't find a vitamin she will eat every color of? There is always an issue. ALWAYS. That's my girl...

Big One and her three little proteges from across the street are camping out in our backyard this Friday night. The adults plan to grill out and drink adult beverages while attempting to roast marshmallows and make smores over the fire pit. The girls (a 13 year old, a 10 year old and two 7 year olds) will do lots of giggling and story telling. We are taking bets on what time they end up at home in their beds.

Melanie Griffith back in rehab. Really. Who cares. Really.

Michael Jackson's death ruled a homicide. Who didn't see that coming.

Curb Your Enthusiasm starts back in September. Woot woot!! I'm still catching up on True Blood season 1 through Netflix before I watch season 2 now airing. They only send one disc at a time and each one only has 2 episodes on it. Season 2 will be over by the time I get caught up.

Just finished a good audio book that is both dark and at some times hard to listen too, but very very good. Dark Places by Gillian Flynn.

That's all I got right now......I'll be back if my brain starts working, though I wouldn't hold my breath.

get your groove on girl!

2009-08-20T21:09:00.004-04:00

little one was so tired......notice the yawn at the end.....

not too tired to get her groove on!

(taken from my cell phone...sorrry for quality!!)

A Thousand Words Thursday

2009-08-20T12:44:00.004-04:00

I cannot express how excited and happy and giddy I am that football season is here. I am a huge football geek. I have always loved the game, not like since I was in college or since I was in high school....but always. Since I was little. I love it. Used to be a 49ers fan until we finally got our own team in '95. I now bleed blue and black and silver.....but I will watch no matter who is playing.

This was when I won tickets for the annual Countdown to Kickoff Luncheon held every year. We got to meet the whole team and all the coaches in person. There was at least one player and coach at every table. I was lucky enough to sit RIGHT BESIDE one of my very very favorite players of all time. Not just a good player, but a good person. He is now retired. #30 Mike Minter. Handsome devil.....

I also won a raffle for a Julius Peppers autographed Superbowl jersey.....the one he actually wore during the media portion of that day. It is framed in my office at home, right next to Kris Jenkins #77. There is a plethora of autographed crap-o-la in my office.....balls, helmets, glossies, gloves.....and the list goes on. I have met so many of them now it's crazy. I love it.

THEY are my superstars. THEY are my Brad Pitts and Jonas Brothers and Robert Pattinsons. They are the ones I get all starry eyed over meeting. I love me some football and they are the stars!

Now Tony HOmo can suck it and Michael Vick can swallow. There are many more on my list of don't likes but we'll not get into all that.....

Go Panthers! I am READY for some football!! Bring it!

Join Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more Thousand Words Thursday!

the Lunch Lady

2009-08-19T10:05:00.003-04:00

I love McMommy......who doesn't? But this post hit home today because I swear on all that is holy this woman was my "lunch duty" partner at Big One's school Friday.

It was exhausting and annoying and I think I left skidmarks trying to get the hell out of dodge at 1:00 when my shift was over.

I work. I know a lot of Mom's don't. I know there is much controversy over the issue. I refuse to take part in the "Who's the Better Mother" game. Do what you gotta do, I do what I gotta do. I work. Get over it.

I get one day off a week (since around Christmas business is very slow and is terrifyingly so right now, but because of that I now work 4 days a week). My Big One goes to a Charter School and because of that we as a family are required to do volunteer work at the school 6 hours per month or 60 hours per year. I signed up to do lunch duty twice a month. That gives us 6 hours a month and gets it over with and out of the way. Anything extra we do we just pat ourselves on the back for. Don't get me wrong, I am all for helping out and definitely want to be involved. It's good for her, it's good for us. Stay in touch with what goes on in your children's lives. It's important. Period.

Anyway, so I show up to the school at my designated time. I'm not sure where I am supposed to go or anything since we are new to this school this year and I don't really know anyone yet. I get signed in and find out where to go and get a little turned around getting there. I finally find my spot and walk in and introduce myself. Mostannoyingmotherever is standing there and was apparently salivating at the notion of the "new girl" showing up late or perhaps not at all. I could tell she was disappointed when I walked in and wasn't late and did show up. Never met the lady but I could tell. I can tell she doesn't like me already. She's never even met me or laid eyes on me before but I can tell I'm going to cramp her style.

According to her she's been at the school a year and she does lunch every Friday but a lot more days too. She also mans the uniform exchange closet, and does library booking as well. She does the concession stands for all the football games and basketball games, even though she only has one of her four kids at the upper school. She's at the school every day for no less than 5 hours. She volunteers in each of her children's classrooms one day a week as well (I'm sure they love that).

That's great. Sounds like you are very involved. I'm sure the school appreciates it. (while lunchroom supervisor rolls her eyes behind her.....I like her already)

She proceeds to take over and run the joint during the whole lunch operation, which is fine with me, but I want to help, not just stand there feeling useless. She didn't want me to and wouldn't let me. It's like she got mad at me when I asked questions or offered more help or anything. She pretty much stood in front of me any time I tried to talk to the ACTUAL lunch supervisor, the one that WORKS there for a paycheck. She's pushy and controlling and she hates me.

Whatev......it's just lunch. I don't have time for all that school I'm better than you crap. I've got no patience for that catty pettiness. But she pissed me off when she started being a bitch to the kids for no good reason. She is like the lunch nazi. She's quite a character.

Then, one of her kids came through the line. She turned into an arch angel. As soon as she shoved me out of the way so she could hand him his milk and pizza she turned to me and said "that's my Shawn". As I pick myself up off the floor I'm all......seems like a nice kid.

Oh, Shawn is a triple black belt and Shawn is captain of the soccer team and Shawn does competitive gymnastics and goes to work out for 7 hours every Saturday. Shawn is a boy scout aren't you Shawn and Shawn went to summer camp for gifted children for 3 weeks didn't you Shawn and Shawn's a this and a that and HELLO......he's a FIRST GRADER. Does he ever have time to be just a first grader or chill at home or play in the yard or be a kid? Meanwhile poor Shawn is trying to get back to his table and eat his lunch with the rest of the class, clearly embarrassed by his mother's outburst.

I just looked at her and smiled. She went on to explain all the accomplishments and stuff of her other kids, except the one whom she barely spoke of because his resume clearly was not up to snuff.

She didn't bother asking about my kids and I didn't bother telling her.

She is like that little dog in the cartoons that is constantly jumping up annoying the hell out of the big dog. The big dog being the Actual Lunch Lady. She kind of takes over.

I hate her.

I get to work with her on Fridays.

Yippie.

joining the WWE

2009-08-10T11:26:00.002-04:00

This little angel has been quite sick. In case you weren't aware, she was a preemie and due to her delayed lung development has chronic bronchiolitis, which they tell me she will outgrow (hearing me God?).

She has had a particularly bad case this past week and by Saturday when all the usual suspects (OraPred, antibiotic, Albuterol & Pulmacort and some cough medicine for good measure) weren't kicking it, or even touching it, we went back to the doctor.

She received a steroid injection while she was there. This was as un-fun as it gets. She eventually got over the tragedy of getting a shot. Drama all over the doctor's office.....but....

By Saturday evening she had morphed into the devil incarnate

I think my 17 month old has "roid rage"....and I'm not even kidding

that or she is going to be the worst and meanest mini with the most horrendous temper in the history of mankind.

I choose roid rage......it just has to go away.....it just has to

Watch This Mom

2009-07-30T13:09:00.009-04:00

Watch me do a flip on the slide Mommy....

WEEEEEEE!!!!!

WHOA.....WATCH OUT LITTLE ONE!!!!!

(Little One waving to Sissy on the slide.....not knowing that in just a second.....)

SPLASHHHHHH......tidal wave to the face

"In your face Little One.....told you to move...."

Thousand Words Thursday

2009-07-30T11:42:00.005-04:00

Fun on the slide.....we so got our money's worth out of this purchase!!!

Check out Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more Thousand Words Thursday!

Sigh.....

2009-07-29T10:36:00.003-04:00

My baby started 2nd grade this morning.

In her little uniform.

With her new little bookbag and her cutie pie Converse and her beaming excited smile.....

I cannot believe I have a 2nd grader. Sigh......

Love that girl.....she's the greatest!

please disregard the dead-ish Hosta to her right......moving on....nothing to see here......

Funny

2009-07-28T14:57:00.000-04:00

this may not be as funny as I think it is......but damn I had to share

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/breaking/story/857390.html

Sprint Buyback

2009-07-23T11:36:00.003-04:00

Does anyone have Sprint/Nextel for your mobile service?

Did you know they have a phone buyback program?

You can get up to $50 per phone depending on the model and how old it is. They don't want the battery or accessories, just the phone.

I stumbled upon this information and happened to have two old phones at the house that I was getting ready to trash. I used to donate them to the Battered Women's Shelter but there was some hullabaloo about privacy from someone that donated a bunch of what turned out to be stolen phones and they stopped taking them.

My old phone was replaced by my Lotus (that I love). The husband just had to replace his this past weekend.

They will take both back and give me a $100 credit on my account.

That's awesome!!

School?

2009-07-23T09:09:00.002-04:00

Big One got into this fancy charter school in our area (we put her name in the lottery for the 3rd year in a row with NO hopes or expectations and SHE GOT IN!!). It's the closest thing to private school you can get without the price tag to go with it.

It is WAY different from the normal public school she is used to. It is what is considered year round school. Meaning, she starts school next Wednesday. July 29th. Holy SHITBALLS that's early. Summer just started about 10 minutes ago. Weren't we just in Hilton Head last week?

The rest of her friends don't start for another month. She's a little miffed, but also looking forward to going to a new school. She is not, however excited by the uniforms. She's at the age where clothes and cuteness matter. They matter in a big way. The uniforms they wear? NOTSOMUCH cute as they are institutional. I understand that is the point, but I am a grownup (most of the time). Try explaining this concept to the 7 year old that is forced to wear navy/white/or light blue tops (polo shirts or button down only) tucked in at all times with a belt, khaki/ or navy bermudas, skirt to the knee or uniform pants, white socks and athletic shoes.

We are not pleased with the selection. We are even more pissed that a new rule was passed that they can only wear athletic shoes. No flats, no slip ons, no crocs, no boots, no flops. Oh the humanity!

But skirts look so stupid with tennis shoes Mom........I HATE tucking in my shirts........I hate this belt, I look like Steve Urkle......I look like I work at a grocery store......

suckitup sista.......everyone wears the same thing (as I walk away smiling!)

I LOVE this concept. There will be no more World War III in the morning about our outfit. There will be no fighting over clothing choices. It will be grand. I'm thinking this way the only thing she could possibly be worried over is wearing the right kind of shoes (don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about). I mean, you wouldn't want to be caught dead in Keds anymore. Sketchers seem to be the shoe of choice right now and some Nike's will do. She settled on one pair of white Sketchers w/ navy and pink accents and two pair of Converse, one navy and one white. These should do nicely I think. She just got a new pair of Sperry Topsiders but those were just outlawed so DAMMITALLTOHELL! There's $45 down the tubes. She'll never wear them at home. I can barely get her to wear shoes at all at home.

We have gone to Staples and used my business discount to buy all the 85million school supplies. We have purchased a new bookbag at Target and I think we are ready to go.

It just feels weird to be doing all this in July. It's still July people. At least wait till August 1st. Somehow August sounds better, even if it is the beginning.

There is no cafeteria at this school. Lunch is 'catered'. Oh yes, catered. There are no buses so if you can't provide your kid a ride to school then don't apply for the lottery. There will be approximately 50 students in her graduating class. There are only 3 second grade classes with about 16 or so students in each as opposed to her old school where there was tremendous overcrowding and 9 second grade classes with about 21 students in each. I am thrilled. I can't wait. THRILLED to get her out of that public school atmosphere. I think it will be a great move. Interesting too, I hear the politics at this school are incredible. I don't get into all that, but it will be fun to sit back and watch.

She has mixed feelings.......I hope she loves it. Keep your fingers crossed!

Recipe Blog Hop

2009-07-22T15:12:00.003-04:00

I love new recipes. I love to cook, but I also want it to be easy. I love to try new recipes.

Go see Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more recipes.......TONS more recipes!!!

Corn Casserole:
simple......easy.......delicious!!

1 can whole kernel corn
1 can creamed corn
1 box Jiffy corn muffin mix
1 8 oz. container sour cream
1/2 stick butter melted

Mix all ingredients together and pour into greased casserole dish. Bake at 375 40min-1hour

Hash brown Casserole:
simple simple simple and yummy yummy yummy

2 cans cream of potato soup
1 bag frozen cubed hash brown potatoes
1 8oz. cont. sour cream
2 cups shredded cheddar
3/4 cup shredded Parmesan

Mix all ingredients and pour into greased casserole. Bake at 350 45min-1 hour

Yes, it is all about starch and side dishes. It's a sickness. I have a good pork chop recipe that's so easy it's criminal......I'll throw it in just so you know my family does eat well-balanced meals (if Happy Meals and hot dogs w/mac&cheese with an occasional cup of mandarin oranges is balanced)

Easy Pork Chops

4 pork chops (maybe 3/4 in. cut)
1 cup applesauce
1/4 cup soy sauce

Spray 9x13 dish w/ Pam. Mix applesauce and soy sauce. Place pork chops in dish and cover with sauce mixture. Cover w/ aluminum foil. Cook at 425 for 45 min.....remove foil and cook 10-15 more minutes uncovered.

Even MY husband can do that.......and his entire repertoire includes oodles of noodles and hot dogs!

Hello? Is this the Center for Disease Control?

2009-07-20T11:37:00.004-04:00

1. Hand Foot and Mouth Disease

2. Bronchitis

3. Ear Infection

4. Sinus Infection

5. Stomach Virus

In the past 3 weeks this is what Little One has been doing.

It has been more fun than you can imagine.

Especially the stomach virus. She and I had 4 showers, 5 outfit changes, 3 sheet changes, 5 loads of laundry, 2 carpet shampoos, 3 kitchen floor scrub downs and one bathroom fumigation.

It is amazing to me that one little short 25 lb. human can produce that much.....well, gross. I wasn't even involved in the vomiting....but I was the only one involved in cleaning it up. I can't explain the joy of having someone else's puke in your hair and down your bra. It's fun times for sure.

If you have children......you are familiar I feel sure.

I'm saying a prayer to the Stomach Virus Gods. It involves candles and chanting and strange dance moves. I am praying that the rest of us are spared.....

Work with me

Pray for us

Dance......chant......light a candle

A Thousand Words Thursday

2009-07-16T12:49:00.004-04:00

Every year since Big One was born we have made a new stepping stone for Mom's garden with her handprints and name and date. We started doing them with Little One last year too.

It's quite fascinating to see how much she's grown in one short year. Big One too.

It's fun for them and wonderful for my Mom. She treasures them.

My brother helped Little One with hers this year and that was TOO FUNNY!!! The blind leading the blind.

For more Thousand Words Thursday see the wonderful Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy!!

that's not a necklace

2009-07-16T11:44:00.004-04:00

My mom gave one of her girlfriend's daughters a bridal shower a couple months ago.

The bride's mother (Mom's friend) lives in Kentucky and traveled down for the shower. She forbade her daughter from buying hostess gifts for my Mom and the other hostess. She wanted to buy them herself. She has been friends with my Mom for many many many years and I would say...or would have said...that she knows her quite well.

The hostess gift for my Mom that she chose was a wallet. This wallet had to be the gaudiest most tacky and flashy wallet you have ever seen.....and I am so NOT kidding when I tell you I googled looking for it and actually found a photo so I'll let you be the judge....

No, I'm not kidding. And in person it looks like a green glittered bowling ball with a convenient picture window.

I can see that you are blown away by the sheer beauty and cleverness of this gift.

I keep wondering what she was smoking that day she picked out the hostess gifts and I almost thought it was a joke when Mom showed me. Not a joke. This was serious business. The only difference is that Mom's doesn't have a little Mariachi band leader from South of the Border in her picture window but she does have a cute nameless toddler holding a kitten. Presh.

And her friend's hostess gift (which she promptly gave to my Mom so that Big One could play with it) remains nameless. We couldn't actually figure out what the hell it was supposed to be. It kind of looks like it might be a piece of jewelry or something. It's bendy but not flexible. It's very strange but appears to be made of silver. Apparently they are all the rage in Kentucky. So we let Little One play with it and see if she came up with anything.

The look on her face says it all.

*** If you are in fact from KY, please enlighten........and please tell me that isn't your wallet

Tales from the Crabitat part 2

2009-07-14T10:29:00.002-04:00

It's riveting.....I know

So, I wasn't sure if the damn thing was dead or what the hell was going on with it. I call one of Big One's friend's mothers that knows of these creatures and ask her.....Val....WTF??

She tells me it doesn't look good. She's never seen one come out of it's shell and stay out ...... unless...it died. She asks "Does it have extra shells?" and I'm all...WTF?? what do you mean extra shells, how many shells do the little bastards need? I mean come on, these little boogers are becoming extremely high maintenance and costly. "But they have to have extra shells. They like to change shells and they also need a range of sizes for when they grow".

So now my Big One's hermit crabs are Fashionistas? They like outfit changes? They need variety? Do they think they've moved to Neiman Marcus?

So here we go off to Petsmart AGAIN to get shells for the diva.

When we get back home we put a couple selections in the crabitat and cross our fingers. We decided to keep them separated until we find out of Crabby is dead or sick or it's that time of the month...you know how that goes. And now that I know they are such divas.....

The next morning it is still not in it's shell. Still in the corner of the cage motionless, looking all gross and exposed. I made Big One put the crabitat down in the garage. We don't want Shellby looking over and getting any ideas you know. A full week later nothing has changed. At this point we are certain the crab has died a fashion victim and moved on to a better place with more shell selection. Alas, we have a 14 day guarantee from Petsmart so we plan to take Crabby back and trade for a new and better living crab.

Unfortunately we never got around to doing that last week and it didn't seem urgent since the crab was, you know....dead. Just hanging out in the crab-condo waiting to be transported back to Petsmart.

Friday night we had friends over and grilled out, drank beer and chilled on the patio. The minis were out in full force playing on the waterslide and sidewalk chalking the entire driveway and hide and go seeking and whatnot. I needed a beverage and they wanted popsicles so I walk around the house to go to the garage-fridge. I grab a couple beers and some popsicles and start to walk away and glace down and notice that Crabby's shell is turned back over the right way and sitting square in the middle of the cage. The carcass is no longer in the corner of the cage, however there are what appear to be leg parts strewn about and a large claw sort of just there.

hmmmm......strange. The gaggle of minis must have been messing with it or playing with the cage or something. Oh well. We'll take it in the morning, need to get rid of it.

I get back around the house and "Hey Big One....did you guys mess with the hermit crab cage in the garage?". She turns around with the most disgusted face you've ever seen and says "Um, EWWWWW....no way, it's DEAD Mommy...sheesh"

Ummm......then no, no it's not dead. It's alive. No freaking way. NO WAY. Oh yes way. The little diva is alive. So I run back around into the garage and use the little scooper thing to flip it over to see and there is a crab in the shell but it sort falls apart. A leg falls off and it kind of smells. I figure it had a last surge of life and got back in the shell or something cause no way was that thing still alive after all that time and being out of it's shell for over a week and all with no food or water (not because there was none but because it didn't move). So I dismiss it as one of those freaky things and go back to my friends on the patio.

By this time I am so over these damn crabs. I'm so sick of it's dead, it's not dead, it's dead, it's not dead and it's dead. But wait......the next day the damn thing is across the cage in a different spot. The little son of a bitch is NOT DEAD. Holy shit, who knew hermit crabs had 9 lives?

and all I can figure is it was molting or something. I have no idea. But it got back in it's shell and has since been moved upstairs with Shellby. We THINK it's still alive but have no proof and I've thrown in the towel so-to-speak and Big One is on her own with those damn creatures.

She totally ignores them now that she's seen one out of it's shell. I feel sorry for them. I think I'm going to give them to the neighbor girl that has 7 already. Or Big One starts school in 2 weeks, maybe her class will need pets???

Let me just say this with complete confidence......I hate hermit crabs and we will never have them again.

Tales from the Crabitat

2009-07-13T10:45:00.003-04:00

Big One found a little tiny hermit crab while playing in the sand in Hilton Head. "I will name him Hermie (so original, I know) and take him back home with me". But who will take care of Hermie Big One? "I will Mommy, all my friends have hermit crabs" (note to self: remember this statement for future speeches.....anything beginning with "all my friends are/have/want" is bound to contain a good lesson).

She then runs back up to the condo clutching her new little friend between two shovels (in case he tries to pinch you know) to find an appropriate bucket for him to live in until we get home.

I'm pretty sure he was gone before she even made it to the elevator. I think the sheer force of bouncing between the shovels as she ran up the beach caused Death by Concussion. I don't think we ever saw Hermie emerge again.

She wasn't giving up hope though, he might still be alive. He lived in a small red bucket the rest of our vacation and then rode back to North Carolina with us in the car. A couple days after we got home I took her to Petsmart and we got him a Crabitat and all the crap-o-la that goes along with it. Still nothing.

We finally decided that Hermie had probably gone on to a better place. Big One thinks he missed his Mommy. I think the shovel ride could have been a little less....ummmm...bumpy or maybe a little more.....gentle.

Darn the luck.

What? You want to use your flower watering money to get another hermit crab? (my Mom pays her to water her flowers when she's out of town). Really? Well, you earned it so you get to spend it how you want. Okay, we'll go one day this week.

So we did. We got another hermit crab. She named him/her/it Crabby (so original, I know). Crabby apparently didn't like his new home and never would come out of his shell. It was decked out too, with all the latest in Hermit Crabitat gear. Big One read that hermit crabs are very social and thought maybe he was depressed and might need a friend so PUHHHLEASSSEEE could we go back and get just one more crab so he won't die of lonliness? (well when you put it that way.....) So here we go back to Petsmart again.

New crab. This one had a name before it was even picked out. This one was named Shellby (we are getting better with the names). So now Crabby will have a friend and life will be grand. Yee Haw.

We get home and Big One runs upstairs to get the crabitat and bring it down to introduce the two and show Shellby her new home (as a rule gender of the crabs is determined in our house by whatever she decides to name them, as are stuffed animals, fish, turtles, and butterflies...which are all girls by the way).

Imagine the most ear curdling scream you can.....MOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYYY.....come here. Come here please please please come here. AHHHHHHH....Mommy I need you, come here quick hurry hurry hurry come here. What is it Big One? I'm trying to feed Little One, I can't leave her downstairs honey, can't you tell me what the problem is? Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself, is it Bella? What's wrong???? "No Mommy, you HAVE to come here, please". Seriously Big One, please TELL me what the problem is, it's kind of an inconvenient time and if it's something silly I'm going to be very angry. (now crying) PLEASE Mommy. Please come here. (now I'm getting irritated because she's this upset and won't give even the slightest hint as to what is the problem).

So I get Little One and go upstairs.

Crabby came out of his shell.

Have you ever seen a hermit crab out of it's shell?

It's not pretty. It's quite disturbing. It's an alien.

"Holy Shitake"

I have never seen anything like it. Yeah......I'm not touching that Big One. You are on your own. You are the one that wanted hermit crabs.

"But Mommy......"

to be continued.....I have to pee and I have a meeting in 5

A Thousand Words Thursday

2009-07-09T10:06:00.004-04:00

Footprints in the sand.....My Big One and My Little One.....what a difference! Of course they are 6 years apart!

(and yes I know their names are on the photo but I figure this will be the one and only time you'll ever see them in print so......one time can't hurt right?)

Dear Jillian,

2009-07-07T13:40:00.002-04:00

Seriously.

It took you that long to get rid of that slimeball?

Honey, I'm not seeing a "connection" with any of these boys that throws sparks in the air. I fear this is going to be another big dissappointment. Another many hours of wasted time that I will never get back, yet you people keep sucking me in.

I don't get it. Aren't you dissappointed? I think we all know you aren't going to marry any of these clowns, right?

I call for a re-do.....you should get a whole new crop to choose from just because of what an asshat Wes turned out to be, and I hate country music anyway so SUCK IT Wes!

On the upside though, girl you are the cutest dresser. I am totally diggin your clothes....might want to consider doing something with the nose, although you are super cute regardless.....just sayin.

Totally sick of the lameness of both Bachelor and Bachelorette,

Alison

the one about our vacation - part 1

2009-06-19T09:15:00.003-04:00

So my uncle gave us a week of his time share at Hilton Head Island, SC. It's about a 4 1/2 hour drive from home and a super nice place FREE for a week. Simply having somewhere to go for FREE for a week solidified it for me, but the icing on the cake was having it be somewhere like Hilton Head. I've spent the better part of this week digging through the pile of paperwork looming on my desk (trying to find the keyboard so I could ~~catch up on blogs and facebook and email~~ get cracking on that ASAP!) and now that I'm semi caught up on ~~blogs, FB, email, Perez, CNN, etc.~~ work I will do my vacation post....since I know you've all been on pins and needles waiting for it! HA!!

We left our house about 4:30pm last Tuesday (we were supposed to leave at noon.....remember?) and after 3 stops it still only took us right at 4 hours and 15 minutes to get there. I have to say the ride down was actually quite pleasant. The Husband watched 5 million episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm on his iPod Touch while Big One alternated between watching Mall Cop and Bedtime Stories on the DVD player and playing with her new Nintendo DS (story later). Little One took one nap for about an hour and entertained us towards the end with her new-found dancing abilities (I'll try to get a video up of that soon...too funny) but was overall quite good, which surprised the living hell out of us all. Oh and while all of the rest of them were duly entertained by their various electronic gadgets, I drove the whole way. I did listen to Confessions of a Shopaholic (a recommendation from one of you) for part of the way but it got annoying having to constantly press 'pause' and pull out my earbuds for the incessant "Mommy", "Mommy I need....", "Mommy look", "Mommy......" or "Honey this" or "Babe that". I eventually gave up and just drove in silence. Silence is sometimes underrated I have to say.

When we got there we shlepped all our crap (and by crap I mean half of the house..including but not limited to..packnplay, clean air machine for noise, diapers, wipes, 3 suitcases, 2 duffle bags, nebulizer, laptop, shoes, beach chairs, towels and sheets....etc.) up to the third floor and got settled. I quickly set up the pack n play, diapered and jammied the baby, tossed 5 or so 'sassys' in the packnplay with her turned on the clean air machine and fan and shut the door. Now to unpack everyone else....

By this time Big One is overtired and I'm starting to hear a Whiny Bird in the distance. There is not much I hate more than a whiny mini. Mine, yours or otherwise. I can't stand a whiner or whining in general. That's when General Mommy takes over my body and whips everyone into shape. Beds made, clothes in dressers, Big One jammied and tucked in. Now it's time to get down to business. My glass of wine is patiently awaiting me on the kitchen counter while the condensation sweat drops roll down the side of the glass........

part 2 (compelling I know) coming up

Thousand Words Thursday

2009-06-18T09:10:00.003-04:00

The Minis.......Hilton Head Island, SC......June 2009

For more Thousand Words Thursday go visit Jen at Cheaper than Therapy!

scratch and sniff

2009-06-16T12:50:00.003-04:00

do you use Zicam when you have a cold or sinus problems? If so you need to read this now!!!

I personally don't use it or any other nasal spray but I do use Neil Med Sinus Rinse and I swear by it. Can't do much harm with salt water right?

I know people that do use it so I just wanted to share.....don't want any of my peeps losing the ability to sniff out that baby poo

real post coming up....pinky swear

dispicable

2009-06-16T09:37:00.001-04:00

This makes me sick.....on so many levels

stay tuned for a real post later

High Noon

2009-06-09T09:18:00.004-04:00

If anyone needs me I'm leaving at noon for this place:

I can be reached here:

or here:

or here

disclaimer

2009-06-05T08:49:00.001-04:00

that last post was not homework from my Big One......it was something someone else sent to me and I thought it was TOO funny!!!!

she's funny......but she does know how to spell Horse!

Enjoy your weekend everyone!!!!

Homework

2009-06-04T13:50:00.000-04:00

Help me!

2009-06-04T13:41:00.002-04:00

Okay, I need your help.

I need books

I need new books

I've read all the Twilight Series(so last-summer...), I've read all the Patricia Cornwell Scarpetta series, I've read all of Nicholas Sparks books, I've read all David Sedaris books, I've read both of Tori Spellings books, I've read all of Torey Hayden's books (which are phenomenal by the way), I've read The Heart Shaped Box by Steven King's son, Joe Hill....I've read Sophie Kinsella, Alice Sebold, I've read Jeanette Walls the Glass Castle (one of my favorite...it's a must read if you like true stories)...I've read COUNTLESS memoirs.

Please recommend something. Anything. I have quite varied taste in books. I need something to take on vacation.

I do love true stories, but I'll take any suggestions. A good series, anything.

Please ya'll, help me find new stuff

Don't make me go to WalMarts and get some powders.....

Putting the "s" in Anniversary

2009-06-03T14:08:00.003-04:00

Our 9 year anniversary was last Wednesday (the 27th). We've been married 9 and together 13. That's a long damn time considering I haven't killed him yet. Anyway, the plan was that we were going to get a sitter and go out Saturday night, we even had "plans" with another couple whose anniversary was also last week and they also have a 7 year old girl and a baby that is 15 months old. What are the odds? Or are they really Single White Female in couple form? Hmmmm....

Well no matter because our "plans" were not to be. None of the grandparents were available for storage and our usual sitter was at the beach. Looks like no night out for us. Oh well, maybe next week.

The husband of the couple we were going out with is a buddy of the Husband's from work. After we broke the bad news the Husband said, hey, you go out to dinner and then come by and have a few drinks on the patio. That sounded fine to me, but I didn't really think they'd come over.

They did.

And they brought another couple (this husband also a work buddy). I don't know these women really. One of them I've met a handful of times and the other I've never seen. I was the odd girl out sitting at the table with my glass of wine whilst all the others guzzled beer. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all about having a good beer, but wow.....

I am normally very social and can get along with most anyone. I love having people over. It's always a good time. About an hour into the visit I started to realize I had not much in common with these two ladies and that perhaps this might not be where they want to be. They didn't have much to say and I tried conversation but to no avail. It was just kind of awkward if you know what I mean. I guess I felt like I was never in on the joke or something. After a few glasses of wine and them guzzling some more beer things got better and we ended up having a decent time. Mostly because my husband and I spent all night laughing our asses off at the mispronunciation of everything. It was downright hilarious.

We all ended up in the mancave above the detached garage and one of the ladies was talking about her obsession with getting stuff for free and the lengths to which she has gone to do so. Amazing. Utterly amazing. She has closets and pantries and cabinets and an entire garage full of cases of toothpaste, bodywash, soap, razors, toothbrushes, facewash, brushes, combs, dish detergent, laundry detergent, baby formula.....and the list goes on and on and on. It's breathtaking....and strange. But anyway the other wife kept talking about "WalMarts". I didn't think much of it at first but then I began to notice that she not only pluralized WalMart but she added a random "s" to lots of things. For instance Targets and Twilights and powders. When I pointed this out to my husband it became a running inside joke and both of us were nearly in tears laughing after a while. It was just too much. Every time she spoke we were holding in our laughter. Like to teenage boys that just smoked a big fattie. It was hilarious. If nothing else, at least the two of us had a good time even if we didn't get to go out.

Of course now everything is plural at our house. In fact I'm going to WalMarts today and you better believe I'm going to get me some powders.

I might even stop by KMarks (not KMart with a "t".....KMarks with a "ks")

Watch out or I might stop by Costcos

stuff and stuff

2009-06-02T10:43:00.003-04:00

So there really isn't much interesting funny or witty going on these days.

I'm suffering from BBS.....Boring Blog Syndrome....or Balancing Bullshit Syndrome......or whatever

The short list:
1. Dad finishes radiation this week. They found another tumor but it's surface level so isn't a threat at this point and they will remove it after radiation is complete. Bummer......but glad it's surface level. The oncologist says that for this type of cancer you will spend the rest of your life chasing it. There really is no real remission. Big time bummer.

2. The minis and every other kid in North Carolina are enjoying the pure-t-shit out of that waterslide. Best.Purchase.EVER.

3. I've been having more knee pain lately.....blah blah.....two surgeries in the past.....blah....more therapy...blah blah.....2 cortisone injections and a new knee brace.....blah

4. 5 more days of school. I'm not sure yet if I'm excited. Maybe for the first week, but as soon as the chorus of "I'm bored" and "there's nothing to do" and "there's no one to play with" and "I don't want to go to camp" and "we're out of Popsicles again" starts.......I'm done. How many days till school starts back up?

5. Going on vacation next week. First vacation since before I was pregnant with Little One. WOW. I'm a little excited. Not sure how much there is to do in Hilton Head for little kids besides beach and pool.....but hey....I said beach and pool....isn't that plenty?

6. Is it really a vacation after you consider all the packing and preparation that comes along with taking a 7 year old and a 15 month old and a complaining husband (not really a beach kinda guy) on a 5 hour journey where you will set up the condo to be as much like home as possible and baby proof the entire place while unloading groceries and laundry detergent.......wait.......didn't I say we were going on vacation? This sounds like a lot of work to be considered "vacation".

7. I'm absolutely in love with the new Dasani Unsweetened Lightly flavored waters......Black Cherry, Strawberry Kiwi and my personal favorite Lime. Love love love

8. My pergola is almost done. So excited. It still needs staining, ceiling fans and lights......but it's built.....baby steps....

9. So this week it's Girl Scouts Bridging Ceremony (oh dear lawd...it's always something with those scouts)....Girls Scouts Carowinds trip, End of School music program, new school orientation and school tour, new school fundraiser and family picnic. And then I plan to hole up on my patio with a vat of wine and some of my new favorite dishes, the recipes for which I will share......in order to get my mind right for "vacation"

10. I plan to kill the cat soon if it doesn't stop waking me up at 3am to play or lick my face or scratch on the door or bring the mouse with the bell on it in my room to play.....etc. Not really, but a solution for this problem is an absolute must. I finally got the damn baby to sleep all night and now the DAMN cat won't leave me alone. I tried locking her in my office where her food and shitbox are but she tears up the carpet by the door trying to get out. She's beautiful and sweet but dumb as a box of rocks and annoying as they come in the middle of the night.

So what are you up to this week?

ETA......this is my pergola.....almost done!!

We aren't THAT cool people.....

2009-05-28T15:13:00.006-04:00

I think maybe the angle of that photo makes the slide look bigger than it actually is. The pool is so NOT a huge pool. It is seriously about knee deep on me. I guess it does look like some huge pool to play in.......NOT the case at all. Plus it takes 85,000 years to fill up so you'd have to slide for like 12 hours before it's all the way full. At maximum capacity it might be up to my knees. I'll take some more photos and post them.

Taking nothing away from the fun factor of the whole thing though. It is so much fun. The entire neighborhood loves it, even the cool kids that have 'actual' pools in the back yard! It is definately hours of entertainment for the kids.

Can't wait to get my water bill. Super excited about that.

Maybe you can slightly see the kids climbing up the slide on the bottom photo and get a better idea of the actual size of the thing? No? Well, I'll try taking some with my camera instead of my phone and maybe that will be better? Or maybe you guys don't really give a pig's pickle about it.......either way

A Thousand Words Thursday

2009-05-28T09:14:00.003-04:00

Because we needed more crap in our backyard.......

(taken from my mobile....won't go any bigger)

For more Thousand Words Thursday see my friend Jen at Cheaper than Therapy!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.....or not

2009-05-19T10:38:00.002-04:00

Late last week one of the grandmothers (they have three.....don't ask) called out of the clear blue and asked if the minis had plans for the weekend. "Why no, no they do not. Why do you ask?"

My brain automatically shot adrenaline through my body and my hands were twitching in anticipation of the next question.......

"Could I come and get them for the weekend?"

Wait a minute.....did you say WEEKEND? Like ALL weekend? Like two whole days of mini-free bliss-dom?

"Could I bring them now?.....hahahahaha.....just kidding"(sort of)

I was almost skipping Friday morning into Storage to drop of Little One imagining what I would do with all my free time over the weekend.

It was fantastic. It was a wonderful much needed break and vacation for me and for them. I had fun, hung out with friends, went out to dinner both nights, stayed up and out late...partied a little with our neighbors and friends and just generally had a fantastic time. I laid in bed watching Lifetime for a couple hours Sunday, cleaned and laundered. Changed sheets in peace and grocery shopped without whining, crying, reaching, pulling, throwing, kicking, flailing babies standing in and on carts. It was awesome.

About 4:00pm Sunday afternoon it hit me like a ton of bricks......I missed them. I was ready for them to come home.

and then they came home

what was I thinking?

happiness is not unimportant...or something like that

2009-05-14T15:07:00.003-04:00

the super cute (even though she thinks my name is Holly) blogger MamabearMills over at Pour Some Sugar on Me has tagged me with the meme 6 unimportant things that make me happy! (and this is hard because if it makes me happy, then it must be important.....pfffft!). So since she thinks I'm Holly...maybe she tagged me by mistake and doesn't really give a rip what makes me happy, hmmmm....

1. Little One's hair sprouts. I love putting her hair in those two little sprouts. They look so damn cute in the morning (before she's pulling and yanked them all day) that they make me smile.

2. Half cut tea. If you know me, you know I'm southern to the core and they might revoke my Southern Belle Card if they knew I liked my tea half sweet/half unsweet instead of fully loaded.

3. A Tivo full of my favorite shows!! I love when my Tivo has tons of stuff for me to catch up on, especially on the weekends when I might occasionally be known to ~~lay on my bed and watch tv~~ clean clean clean till my fingers fall off while Little One naps and Big One does whatever she's doing.

4. Wine spritzers and grilling (together)...(for you northern friends grilling = barbequeing...you see BBQ is a noun as in "Let's eat some BBQ" not a verb as in "Let's go out back and barbeque something")

5. Thursdays (Thursday is the new Friday........for me)

6. My cell phone. LG Lotus. Love it love it love it love it. OH OH OH and and and I also love my new iPod Touch, but funny enough hated the iPhone when I did the 30 day trial, but that's 7 things so if I had to choose then definately the phone.

Now I tag :
Shannon at More Wine Please
my friend Jennifer at Momma Made it Look Easy
Amy Amy at Life of a Nguyener
the Mom Jen at Cheaper than Therapy
Tena at My Therapy
(do we see a Theraputic pattern to all of this?)
and
Clemsongirl

Lazy being the operative word.....

2009-05-13T10:26:00.002-04:00

If you ever decide to buy a piece of furniture from LaZBoy and they push you to buy the fabric protectant and/or a protection warranty....

DON'T DO IT

DO NOT DO IT. In fact try desperately to find a piece of furniture you like as well or better somewhere else!

They honor next to nothing but make it sound like a dream come true......until you need to use it......shoot me now

They got me......don't let them get you too

2009-05-12T16:09:00.004-04:00

In typical 'me' fashion, the Husband's birthday cake (birthday was 3/18) just got made a week or so ago. I think it's because I'm a busy working mother of two that does not get the help and spousal support needed from her husband and is too tired and ~~drunk on wine spritzers~~ overworked to think about baking birthday cakes. (or it could be that I subconsciously didn't think he deserved one....)

But who's counting right?

Well in my house cake is cake and frosting is well......

YUMMY!!!!

and you have to LOVE that hairdo girlfriend is sportin'

(she pulled out her ~~horns~~ piggies)

"MMOOOOMMMMM....maker her stop!"

2009-05-11T13:39:00.002-04:00

Little One fully clothed and overjoyed infiltrated the slipnslide fun Friday evening...just took off and ran right on.....much to the chagrin of Big One and friend!

"Baby Intruder.....Baby Intruder!!" "Mommy make her MOOOOOVVVVVE!" "Get her off, she's in our way!"

She was having so much fun I just couldn't make her get off! All me and the Husband could do was laugh and run for the video camera.....she was HILARIOUS!

This is a girl that has NO idea there is a rogue baby running towards her!

Storytime

2009-05-07T13:01:00.006-04:00

Gather round boys and girls, I have a story to tell you. This isn't just any story. This is a story about a girl and her Dad. Now before you saw, awww how sweet, it's not that kind of story. This girl loves her Dad. She loves him very very much, but she and her Dad don't always see eye to eye. Sometimes, well, a lot of times they don't get a long quite well. You see when this girl was a little girl she thought her Dad hung the moon and for the most part he was an okay Dad. He'd never be up for Dad of the Year by any stretch of the imagination, but he was good for the most part. The thing the girl could never understand was why her Dad always seemed to be in a bad mood. He was grumpy almost all the time. He complained a lot and nothing seemed to be good enough. It wasn't till later in life that she realized he wasn't like that with everyone. Most people found him quite charming. Seems he saved all the grumpy for the family. Unlike most people he was a much nicer and more like able guy to perfect strangers than he was to his own family. I guess always might be stretching a tad, sometimes he was in a good mood, but more often that not you just didn't bother Dad. What still bothers the girl the most to this day is that her Dad never ever NEVER not one time in entire life......NOT ONE TIME...ever told her he loved her. He hugged her and kissed her and all that but never not once told her "I love you". I guess "it was how he was raised" or something akin to that.

When the girl was little she was involved in a lot of extracurricular activities such as Girl Scouts and Art lessons and Dancing and Swim team. The girl was quite good at dancing and danced from age 3 to age 19. She taught dance for the last 3 of those years along with dancing competitively (and expensively) and winning many many trophies and titles. She competed all over the United States and was invited to dance one summer for a cruise line but since she was 17 her mom drew the line (talk about crushing the dream.....the girl just knew it was the end of the world). The girl was also an avid and very good swimmer. The girl competed in swimming during the dancing off-season (summer) and was highly ranked in that as well. Would you believe that the girl's Dad never came to see her dance or swim. Never. Well, maybe once he came to see her swim and then probably only because her brother was swimming too and maybe once (and only once and stayed for one dance) to a recital, but even that's up for debate. My point is that the Dad never thought twice about it. I think the Dad didn't realize how important it was to the girl and I don't think he knew the hole it left that it wasn't important to him. On the flip side he loved to brag about how accomplished his daughter was and how she won this and did that and could have danced for Carnival and blah blah blah, but never once did he show her that pride and admiration. Not once. She believed she would never be good enough, nothing was ever enough. When the girl did something that wasn't up to snuff or something he didn't think was up to snuff, she was often times called stupid. (stupid is the worst word you can say to her to this day.....she will spit in your face and you will no longer exist to her if you call her or her children or anyone she loves stupid.......inanimate objects can be stupid but people, and most of all children, should NEVER be called stupid). This is not to say he didn't or doesn't love her. He does, he just very rarely shows it in any way shape or form. I don't think he has any clue of the stigma that the word stupid carries for her.

Over the years the shine wore off and she no longer thought her Dad hung the moon. She started to see that not all Dad's were like her Dad and that some Dad's loved hanging out with and being a part of their children's lives. She started to notice that some Dad's were even supportive and all that dad stuff. She noticed that she didn't like that her dad seems ignorant sometimes and racist sometimes and didn't like the way he treated her Mom most all the time. She was starting think maybe she didn't like him so much. She loved him sure, but she was pretty sure she didn't like him too much. This went on for years and years and years, etc. ( so many more sordid details left out....trying not to make it a novel, just a story)

Then one day the girl got married and had her first baby. Something happened when she had that baby. This Dad that she'd been loving and hating at the same time all these years turned to mush and fell instantly in love with his new granddaughter. He doted on her. He treated her like he should have treated his daughter. The girl was happy with that. Very happy. So happy her daughter would never wonder if she was or why she wasn't good enough.

Skip ahead 6 years and one miscarriage. The girl is now 6 months pregnant with her second baby and has been admitted to the hospital for the remainder of her pregnancy due to a placenta previa and several big bleeds. The girl is beyond devastated. The girl is not in a good mental state. You see, the hospital she has been admitted to is an hour from home. This means she cannot go to work (and desperately needs to.....desperately), this means she cannot see her husband and daughter every day because they have to work and go to school. This means that she probably won't get a lot of visitors because it's not that convenient and after the newness of her being admitted wears off, people won't think to come and she will and did become very lonely and depressed. She was right. Wouldn't you think her parents would be there? You would and should think that. Her Dad came to see her exactly ONE time in that month. Once. He stayed for about 15 minutes. He didn't like hospitals you see.

Unfortunately and fortunately one month into the incarceration (as she refers to it) and 3 days (it was leap year) after her birthday (yes, she spent her birthday in the hospital...oh AND she missed her 6 year old's birthday party and everything too) she had another big bleed. This one caused major blood loss and she was sent in for emergency c-section to get baby out and save Mommy. The baby was delivered at 34 weeks. She was 4lbs. 13oz. and she was rushed immediately to NICU. She wasn't ready, obviously. The girl was terrified and her husband almost didn't make it to the hospital in time. She was prepped for surgery when he burst through the OR doors in time to get scrubbed and prepped himself. Barely. Like literally 30 seconds. The next morning the girl's Mom and Dad (shock) showed up bringing her oldest daughter with them to see Mommy and Daddy and the new baby. Mom would have stayed all day. Dad wanted to see the baby and get to steppin.......so that he did. He saw the baby and then they left.....wham bam thank you ma'am.

Fast forward 7 or 8 months. The girl and her family are doing good. The baby is thriving and wonderful. Business is slow and money is tight. She works at her family's business. Her dad is in the process of retiring. He is 64 years old. It's October and he gets a cold. A month later he still has the cold, it won't go away. Even weirder is that he's having these nose bleeds too. He goes to the doctor, they give him antibiotics and send him on his way. Not working. This goes on for a couple weeks. They do an endoscopy to try to see why it's bleeding. They find what seems to be an overgrown polyp. They biopsy it and try to remove it...too much bleeding. Can't remove all of it. Biopsy comes back. It's cancer. It's not just any cancer.....it's melanoma. The girl is beside herself. She is inconsolable. She is grappling with why she is so upset and if she is allowed to be this upset when she doesn't deserve to be because of her past opinions of her dad.

INSIDE the sinus cavity. It's Mucosal Melanoma. Very VERY rare. Like only 1000 cases since 1924. Extremely rare. Fine, we'll remove it, deal with it. So he has another surgery by a specialist at a renowned hospital about 2 hours from home. Successful. They get it all. No chemo (none is effective for melanoma) and no radiation. Thank God. Two weeks later he gets a scan and BOOM.....more cancer. New tumor. The girl is once again terrified and inconsolable. This is her dad, how can this be happening and my God, sure they didn't always get along, but she didn't want to lose him forever. This surgery is far worse. They remove the bones and all sinus tissue in the left cheek and nose. Leaves him somewhat disfigured, but cancer free. Very very hard recovery. Still getting through it. 3 weeks into radiation.

Fast forward to today. Strange lump on Dad's forehead and getting bigger every day. May be a cyst? They decide to biopsy to be safe. As the girl sits at her desk, tears streaming down her face she writes a story about her Dad. She isn't sure how she is supposed to feel and if she is allowed to be as heartbroken as she is. She has after all not gotten along with him very well all the time.

At the same time, her Dad is at the doctor's office........ I'm very sorry Mr. Dad but it's more melanoma.......

Can you clean your brain with Clorox?

2009-04-29T10:32:00.002-04:00

So Big One and I are sitting at the kitchen table doing her homework and I look up and outside on our swingset there is my neighbor and his little girl Peyton who is 3. No biggie, they play on our playground all the time. They don't have one and my minis have too much of one. They come over a lot in the late evening and she swings and swings and swings and occasionally slides or jumps or something but usually it's after my minis are done for the day and inside getting showered or doing homework or reading or whatever (see how I make it look we are doing constructive things and not eating chocolate and ice cream and watching TV......cause we aren't.....usually).

Well, Big One and I were finishing up ~~the ice cream~~ her homework and she wanted to go back out and swing a little bit before she had to get a shower and go to bed. I say okay and she goes out. I fix myself a spritzer and go outside myself. The neighbor dude is up by the trampoline sitting on one of the little plastic Step 2 chairs slamming beers (brought his own cooler) watching the minis play while LOUDLY talking to his assistant manager about getting an apartment together on his cell phone. So loudly that I could hear him across the yard and the little ones were right there beside him. As far as I knew his little girl did not know (someone has some 'splainin to do) that he and his wife of 5 years are separating and he plans to move out soon, but I'm pretty sure the cat's out of the bag now. She comes running over to me, who happens to be ~~eavesdropping~~ mindlessly reading my magazine while sipping my spritzer swinging on the patio swing and she says "My Mommy is gonna be mad". (me) "Oh yeah? Why's that?" (her) "Daddy not appost to (supposed to for those that don't speak toddlerese) dink bear" (me) "hmmm, your Mommy doesn't want your Daddy to drink beer?". (her) "Nope, Daddy gonna get in twouble". (me) "Uh Oh, well you better go tell Daddy then".

About 5 minutes later neighbor dude has successfully pawned the 3 year old off on Big One and comes over to the patio where I am now ~~thinking about~~ potting my plants. He starts telling me in his loudest voice EVER how he and his "soon to be ex-wife" are having major blow out fights and going on and on about all their marital issues and nonmarital issues and I'm actually starting to feel sorry for the guy who normally really irritates the shit out of me (especially when screaming about grown up private issues in front of small children)...UNTIL he goes into how she "likes her dildo more than she likes me" and "sex with her is like......." STOP.RIGHT.THERE.NEIGHBOR.DUDE. That falls into the category Information Overload and I'm now going to feign suddenly remembering something VERY important and grab my Big One and run inside and lock the doors. I'm going to pretend we didn't have this conversation so I don't have to get that mental picture in my head EVER EVER again.

I need to know how to scour my brain please......suggestions

I always knew I'd be royalty

2009-04-28T11:11:00.004-04:00

and Swoozie made my dreams come true! Isn't this award very Sparkerly (as Big One used to say)?! I loves it!

I am VERY extremely late passing this on and thanking ((((HUGS)))) her. I suck like that, get used to it.

Rules......well since I'm the Queen of all that is Awesummmmmm I hereby rule that rules are to be changed! Watch out ya'll, someone has given her powers and she's not afraid to throw them around.....Here are the real rules:

*List 7 Things That Make You Awe-Summm!

*Pass It On To 7 Bloggers Who Are Awe-Summm!

*Be Sure To Tag Your Awe-Summm Bloggers To Let Them Know!

*Then Link Back To The Queen That Tagged You!

and here are MY rules:

I get to be the Queen of Awesomeness today and tomorrow I will let someone else take over (maybe.....depends on how big my power trip is tomorrow). I don't like to 'toot my own horn' so to speak so I'll just let you believe that EVERYTHING about me is AWE-SUMMMM and that's how I got to be the Queen (pfffftttt.....)

Blogger Barbie

2009-04-28T08:23:00.003-04:00

Time for Blogger Barbie to put the laptop down

toothy tale

2009-04-21T08:54:00.003-04:00

"I am seven years old and all my friends have lost at least 5 teeth and Abby has lost EIGHT and I haven't lost any. What's wrong with me Mommy?" "My teeth aren't right."

"No Big One there is nothing wrong with your teeth, in fact, the dentist says that the longer it takes you to lose them the better your adult teeth will be"

"He didn't say that, whatever"

"He did too, you want me to call him and let you talk to him?"

"Well, it's not fair. Why can't I just be normal"

"You are better than normal Big One"

"Whatever"
________________________________________________

"MOMMY!!! I have a loose tooth!!! It's wiggly, come feel it!!"

(um, yeah, it's notsomuch loose as it is still exactly where it's always been.....but)
"Oh sure Big One, it might be getting slightly loose." "VERY slightly"

"But that's something! It's loose!!! I have a loose tooth, I have a loose tooth" (doing the 'loose tooth dance')

________________________________________________
2 months later.....

"Look Mommy, my loose tooth is getting MORE wiggly!" "You can SEE it wiggle now!"

(if you force it, REALLY really force it, it wiggles a little.....but who am I to crush the dream)

________________________________________________
2 weeks later......

"feel it Mommy, feel my tooth, it's very very wiggly now! I think it's ready to come out"

(okay, now we are getting somewhere....at least when I feel it now I can tell it is actually a loose tooth. Not near ready to come out so to speak, but wiggly nonetheless)

________________________________________________
2 days later after near constant pushing, wiggling, playing with.....

"try to pull it out please"

"it's not ready Big One"

"just try"

"it is not ready honey"

"PUHHHHHLLLLLEEEEAAASSSEEE"

"FINE, come here" "Yep, not ready...just like I said"

"You just aren't doing it right, I'm going to Daddy"

"Whatever"

(Daddy) "It's not ready yet Big One"

(Big One storms upstairs to wiggle some more)
___________________________________________
the next day......

"can you try to pull my tooth today? Please?"

"fine, I'll try........nope, not yet"

"WHYYYYYYYY"

"be patient, it will come out lovey when it's time"

(storming back upstairs)

(Daddy gets home)

"DADDDYYYYYY......Please please please take my tooth out today"

"Okay Big One, you want it out......I WILL get it out. You might not like it, but it will be out"

"Okay Daddy, I'll do anything. I just want to have a missing tooth like everyone else"

(scary thought)

______________________________________________
15 minutes and much pushing and pulling later.................

You would have thought Santa just brought that 4wheeler again. I don't think she's ever been that excited IN.HER.LIFE.

Fantastic.

I forgot where I stashed that adorable tooth pillow.........I also don't know where I put my 'fairy dust'.......Oh and I don't have any cash......DAMMITALLTOHELL.....suck it Tooth Fairy

Don't worry, she came through.....the Husband had a 5 spot in his wallet thank goodness.....

How much do your kids get from the Tooth Fairy? I only got like a quarter or two......

I have one losing her teeth and one getting her teeth.

Fun times

Thousand Words Thursday

2009-04-16T13:19:00.004-04:00

The flower girl in three parts......

Big One, flower girl.......18 months old......it was let's say.....a challenge

She was great up until it was time to walk down the aisle for real....that's when the fun began.. sheesh

join Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more ATWT!!

oh no!

2009-04-13T19:27:00.002-04:00

I totally didn't mean that the way it must be 'reading' to everyone!

What I meant was when I read it I felt a pang of guilt like crazy! But she totally didn't mean it that way......she's a working mom too!

I'm just having the guilts and when I read it I felt worse......it truly is MY BAD!!

That bitch.......

2009-04-13T15:32:00.002-04:00

I recently read something that irked me to the bone.

I'm not sure why it struck a cord THIS time, it's not like I haven't read this or similar things a hundred times before and shrugged them off. I mean after all I admit (head hanging in shame) that I was a part of one of those Birthclub Bitchfest Boards on Babycenter, which seemed sort of harmless and helpful and a way to commiserate at first but quickly turned into something darker and more, shall we say bitchy.

Now, I'm not sure why this irked me, perhaps because "the truth hurts" as they say, or perhaps because "if you don't have a career or a mortgage, you don't understand". The comment was not directed at me or anyone I know (I don't think???), but for some reason reading it just put a fire in my belly (or was that the 5 wine spritzers and the extra dose of Nyquil?)

Anyway, I'll admit to being in a cold-medicine induced fog even today (no spritzers yet, pinky swear) so that could be it. Or maybe it's almost 'that time' of the month, although I don't think it is. Maybe I'm just being hypersensitive? Maybe, well, actually who cares anyway.

I've always let this kind of crap just roll off my back. I'm living for me and my family anyway, right?

Is that guilt I see creeping up your back? Why, perhaps it is.....

The sentence was as simple as this.......I don't know why people have children that they have no intention of taking care of.

And the thing is, it's dead on. She was DEAD on. I fully intended to send both minis to daycare from day one. And some days I feel guilty (today) and most days I don't.

Oh wait a minute.....I don't think she meant working Mom's vs. Stay at Home Mom's.....I think she meant something else.

My bad.

---------------------------------------------------

See how that riles something up inside? The 'controversy'......even the thought of the controversy.

I'm sure it will be recognized, so don't get mad at me you know who you are. I was having a 'guilty' working mom day and I read that and it made the Guilty Working Mommy inside me jump to the defense!

that bitch.....

Thousand Words Thursday

2009-04-09T09:09:00.003-04:00

Hippity Hoppity Easter's on it's Way!

Happy Easter Everyone!

Straight out of camera images....sorry.....no photoshop on work computer

Join Jen at Cheaper than Therapy for more Thousand Words Thursday!

Seek and ye shall find....

2009-04-07T13:39:00.003-04:00

Every year we make Big One work for her Easter basket. Not as in manual labor work but we do a scavenger hunt.....well not us of course the "EASTER BUNNY" leaves the clues. I thought that I would share this years clue set with you guys. It is the most fun. She never wants the hunt to end. It's the best part of Easter for her (I know, I know....go to Church).....but it is. She doesn't even care what's in the basket at the end (well, maybe just a little bit)

I print the clues in Microsoft word using a two column table. One column has an Easter Clip Art inserted and the other column has a clue. I cut them up and put each clue inside a plastic Easter Egg and hide it (with one exception this year..you'll see). Not 'in plain sight' hide it, it is HIDDEN. I mean when she comes downstairs there are no eggs in plain sight.

First there is a BIG plastic egg (about 10 inches long or so) with the first clue inside sitting on her bedside table when she wakes up and here's how it goes:

1. (Bedside table clue) - Happy Easter XXXson! (edited out Big One's name) Get up, let's have fun!
I've pulled my yearly stunt so come on and let's hunt!!
I am silly it's true and HERE'S your first clue:

Your little sister is so super cute.
Your clue is with her, near where she 'toots'

(this clue is taped to the outside of little sister's diaper - the only one not hidden in an egg)

2. (Diaper clue) - You found the big clue on Xxxxe's (edited out Little One's name) down under.
Go look in the den near your Elf buddy "Thunder"

(we enlisted Santa's little 'Elf on the Shelf' for a little mid year spying and clue hiding...will be bringing him out for an Easter appearance Sunday)

3. (Thunder the Elf clue) - You found this one quick! You are nobody's fool.
You better look next where your Daddy plays pool!

(outside above the offset garage there is a mancave utopia, that's where the pool table is)

4. (Pool room clue) - WOW! You flew up those stairs just like you had wings!
I bet your next clue is out by the swings

5. (swingset clue) - Don't worry, your next clue is not far.
You just need to look in your Mommy's big car.

6. (Toyota Suck-ouia clue) - You sniffed this right out, just like a fox.
I bet your next clue is near the mailbox...

7. (mailbox clue) - So that my clues don't get you stuck,
You better go look in your Daddy's big truck!

8. (F150 clue) - If you eat too much candy you will surely get ill.
But to find your next clue go and look near the grill.

9. (Grill clue) - Hope this treasure hunt fills you with glee.
I bet your next clue is near your fun Wii

10. (Wii clue) - Sometimes when you search you must stand on your head.
Maybe go check under Mom and Dad's bed.

11. (Bed clue) - The Easter Eggs are near now, on this I would bet.
The next clue is hiding where it's bound to get wet!

12. (Shower clue) - Roses are Red, Violets are Blue
Go Look in the place where you keep your shoes.

13. (Shoe bench in foyer) - You almost found all of them, boy you are FAST!
Just one more clue that you have to get past.

You're almost to the final treat!
Your next clue is where you brush your teeth!

14. (Upstairs kid's bathroom) - Well looky at you! This is your last clue!
No need to cry, go look where the clothes dry.....

Easter basket in the dryer......

Last year she was still learning to read so we helped her more than we'll have to this year. Year before we used a lot more pictures. She loves loves loves this. The basket was in the outside refrigerator in the garage last year, year before it was inside her playhouse outside, year before it was in the front seat of the neighbors car (yes they knew....) and so on.....

Be creative, use my clues, make up your own, start a tradition. It's TOO much fun!

I'll post photos of the hunt....pinky swear

This hereby qualifies as my Easter post......

As If.....

2009-04-06T13:36:00.003-04:00

I have a guy friend that is kind of more like a brother and we'll call him So-and-So.

So I get an email this morning that goes something like this "So-and-So added you as a friend on Plaxo".

and in my head I'm all "hmmm.....WTF is Plaxo?"

(me) "So-and-So.....WTF is Plaxo dude?"

(him) "it's this website you join and get to talk to all your friends and family and stuff and set up a profile and whatever..it's cool, not like that MySpace shit for teenagers"

(me) "So it's Facebook"

(him) "Facebook?"

(me) "dude, seriously?"

(him) "Seriously"

(me) "whatever douchebag.....I'm not joining 'Plaxo'....I'm already FaceCracking, Twittering and Blogging, which leaves little precious time for working and mothering so either join Facebook with the rest of the world or be on Plaxo ALONE.......Plaxo....really"

Are YOU on Plaxo? I mean, am I just behind the times now? Do I have to do Plaxo too? I'm just going to have to say no to another social outlet. I can barely keep up with the Joneses as it is....

stop the presses.......there's more

2009-04-02T09:54:00.003-04:00

a transcript of the interview from Spanish Glamour where that vision of hotness photo came from.....

(if you aren't a Twilighter...then why aren't you?......excuse these little outbursts.....)

They say this British guy started to work in the industry because he wanted to meet girls. What he didn’t know is that his life was going to change forever once he got cast as the teenage vampire Edward Cullen, hero to millions of teenagers thanks to the famous Twilight saga written by Stephenie Meyer. We’re in the city of Los Angeles and we speak with this peculiar actor that will become our Salvador Dali very soon.

Does Twilight remind you of your real life and high school, when two people are attracted to each other with such energy?

Yes, although I had really bad luck with girls (as if that's possible), the ones I liked hated me and the ones that liked me were not my type. But that’s something that I still go through, I like girls that I shouldn’t like. But I’m learning and now I take my time before I let the girl know.

Do you believe in obsessive love?

Yes, but only from a girl’s point of view. I don’t think men are like that. Not many men read Stephenie Meyer books anyway.

You’re right. That’s what I was going to ask you. Do you believe this story was tailor made for young girls?

Yes, it’s so weird and funny. After reading the books I’ve been asking myself why do women act like that, why do they behave like that, especially younger girls. They turn into freaks when it comes to boys. I like normal girls who don’t pretend to be anything else. (raising hand and waving...pick me pick me.....WHAT....I'm normal.....sort of)

Would you like to live forever?

No, although it does have its advantages.

Do you understand the attraction and mystery around vampires?

I’ve never been interested in vampires (me either, at least not until YOU became one...told you we were made for each other), although I understand why they’re so appealing to some people.

How are you handling being the new It Boy, being in so many covers of magazines now all over the world?

I don’t mind (I'm sure you don't....hello Money Train), my character is so good and he deserves to be admired. From the moment I signed up for this I knew what I was getting myself into. Edward is a vampire, he’s not a hero like Superman, he’s a vampire in love who wants to be normal.

It took him 90 years for him to find love. Do you believe in love at first sight?

That’s so boring! (pshhhht.....yeah.....SO boring) I think we all have the right to fall in love several times. The conventional idea of love, the idea of being with somebody for the rest of your life and love her forever sounds so silly to me, and so unrealistic. I think you can love ten people at the same time (laughs).

What are your biggest passions?

I’m boring. I like reading (ME TOO!!!), watching movies (OMG....ME TOO!! scary how much we have in common) and playing the piano (is that code for sexytime? if so.....ME TOO!).

Would it scare you to fall in love like the characters in Twilight?

Yes, because it’s an obsessive love, a sick love. When you fall in love and you lose yourself like that (I have no idea what you are talking about Edward......err I mean Robert...). Imagine falling in love like that!

Do you get hit on by difficult women?

I’m crazy about independent women who don’t require too much attention.

Have you ever used the phrase “I’m an actor” as a pick up line?

No, that phrase doesn’t work here in LA - everybody is an actor here.

Are you planning on going to college?

Yes, but I’m planning on taking it slowly, probably when I’m 28. As an actor you have to take advantage of the opportunities you get and not letting them pass by.

Do you remember the first time you loved someone?

Yes. It’s weird to enjoy your first love, especially if the relationship lasts a long time. Our relationship was really beautiful, but we didn’t have an obsessive love like in the movie. Her presence in my life made me very happy for three years. Now it’s kind of hard to talk about it.

we interrupt this Thousand Words Thursday

2009-04-02T09:49:00.002-04:00

and you know I would never if it weren't necessary but ladies......please.....is he not worth it?

GOOD LAWD AT THE HOTNESS!

Thousand Words Thursday

2009-04-02T09:12:00.003-04:00

Little One waiting for Daddy to come back inside (and banging on the window and yelling DADADADADADADADA at the top of her lungs......you didn't hear her where you live?)

Join Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy for more A Thousand Words Thursday!

Friday Fragments - the Wednesday Edition

2009-04-01T14:45:00.004-04:00

I won't be around on Friday and Thursday I have a cutie patootie photo of Little One for ATWT so today is Friday Fragments the Wednesday Edition....

*the kitten/cat (she's in that awkward adolescent stage) has a death wish and is using up her nine lives in record time. She has jumped from the upstairs landing onto the hardwoods 13 feet below (we thought she broke her leg but thankfully $350 worth of Emergency-Vet-Hospital-on-a-Sunday later it was just a sprained knee). She has decided to take a nap under the recliner that was open with the Husband napping above her (until the doorbell rang and he closed the recliner real fast as it jolted him awake thus closing the kitten aka The Dumb Blonde inside) and so once he gets her out she is heaving and panting and limping and crying and another $350 Emergency Vet Hospital bill later it turns out she got the wind knocked out of her.....("I'll knock the wind out of her furry little ass" he says......"didn't we just pay for that" I say). Then she was playing with a couple of those cat toys that look almost like a fishing pole or something...a long wand with a feather thing dangling from a string and again the Husband was asleep in the recliner (anyone see a pattern forming?) and he hears a gasping "meow" from behind the sofa...lo and behold it's Bella choking with two of those toys wrapped around her neck....thank God he was home (and yes, we took them away. The wand toys have been excommunicated only to be played with under adult supervision). Last night she decided it might be fun to chew on the lamp cord and I don't think I need to tell you how that turned out......

yes, she's still alive but my wallet has yet another hole burned into it

*Today was Tacky Day at school so Big One wore her hair in two crazy bows that don't match, two different earrings, a boot and a tennis shoe, a pink and yellow striped knee sock and a lavender bobby sock, jeans rolled up on one side, a loud flowered shirt with a navy and white and pink argyle sweater on top, with some crazy jewelry. She was tacked out to the max. So we are waiting in the garage for her ride to pick her up this morning and she is all excited about how crazy tacky she is when the car pulls up. She rides to school with two neighbor girls that are 1 and 3 years older than her and let me tell you those two are TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL and would never participate in such petty games. Big One suddenly became embarrassed and ashamed of her participation and they hadn't even said anything to her.....but she wants to be cool like them and when they weren't dressed up too she was mortified. I quickly came to her rescue as I saw the look in her eyes and said "Why aren't you diva's dressed for tacky day? Big One and I had THE BEST time doing this....doesn't she look so cool....I wish I could go to work like that!!" and they were all "Mom we have to go back home and fix this"......Big One perked right up so I hope I helped and wasn't the dreaded Mommy Intruder....

* Little One has 5 teeth coming in all at the same time on top. Nightmare on my street!

* I made Pioneer Woman's Barbecue Meatballs last night w/ the Mashed Potatoes (except I used red skinned (skin on) and only made 2 lbs. instead of 5lbs.) but there was not ONE BITE of the entire dinner left. They LOVED IT!! SO SO GOOD!!

* What is wrong here? Channeling a little Silence of the Lambs? I love you Robert, I do, but WOW.....again

Dear Robert,

Edward would NEVER!!

please stop.

Kthanxbai

* Who is really surprised that the Count has been getting some action on the side? I mean who besides L0000000Annnnnn the Countess....seriously

*No one wanted to enter to win the PopNots so the Mom Jen gets TWO cans. Too bad for you! (the rest of you I mean)

* WHY do people just lose all ability to drive when there is even a drop of rain on the road? Instant Idiots.....just add water

* I had Moe's for lunch today (junior Art Vandalay w/black beans and queso on the side) and I go to get my drink (the usual half sweet/half unsweet tea) and the guy behind me is all "why would you do that?" and I'm all "why do you care?".....kind of pissed me off but am I the only one that does that? Really?

* I'm doing my deceased Grandmother's taxes today (if you don't know the story.....it's here). She owes state and federal for the first time in ten years and guess who gets to pay it......no not me.....but my Dad. To my eldest son and caretaker of the past 10 years I leave.....MY DEBT!!! To my youngest most favoritist fair haired son I leave everything else.....

* I'm gonna tell you all once again how much I love my cell phone....it's the best one I have ever had and beats the keys off the Crapberry's I've had in the past! The LG Lotus (here)

* consignment rocks the house ya'll....for real. I just picked up a check for $361.00 for my stuff and how excited am I?

Okay...that's all I got today but for more Friday Fragments see Mrs. 4444.....but wait till Friday cause there more than likely won't be any more to see today!

A Hairy Tale

2009-03-30T13:52:00.004-04:00

not even a year has gone by and she seems like a different girl, a young lady if you will.....

another new haircut this weekend makes her look even more grown up and it hurts my heart that my baby girl is growing up....

I bring you A Hair Transformation in Three Acts

Act 1:

Beautiful long just been swimming after a summer trim hair...July 2008

Act 2:

My BFF is getting her haircut and I want mine cut and donated too hair....August 2008

Act 3:

I want my hair short and "popular" so when Mommy looks at me she will cry and wonder where her little baby girl went hair......March 2009

and as if that weren't bad enough.........this little one is trying to grow up too! Just who do they think they are anyway?

dirty little secrets

2009-03-27T14:24:00.003-04:00

God knows I love me some Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen......but

"I don't really see the point in washing your hair. If you don't care if your hair's clean or not then why would you wash it? It's like, I don't clean my apartment ’cause I don't care. I have my apartment for sleeping in and I have my hair for just, you know, hanging out on my head. I don't care if it's clean or not."
- Twilight hottie Robert Pattinson tells TV's Extra

Some things just need to be left unsaid and the fact that you don't think your hair or the place you live needs to be clean are two of them. I will never have the pleasure of being close enough to smell his hair or see his dirty apartment with dirty sheets where he lays his dirty hair.....but I didn't need those details....

Dear Robert,

Edward would NEVER!

Love,
Alison

I'm just sayin......

Thousand Words Thursday!

2009-03-26T15:58:00.002-04:00

time to start thinking about the Easter Bunny again......call your favorite photographer today! and if you live close to me....PICK ME!!!

Carson Easter pictures 2007

For more Thousand Words Thursday join my friend Jen at Cheaper than Therapy!

Jackpot!

2009-03-24T12:52:00.003-04:00

I just received this very important email a few minutes ago..........I think it may be my money from Amy Amy Bo Bamey's brother in Nigeria!!!! so excited!!!

Dear Customer!
We have been waiting for you to contact us (well wait no longer!!) for your Confirmed Package
that is registered with us for shipping to your residential location. We had thought that your sender gave you our contact details. It may interest you to know that a letter is also added to
your package (a letter? well why didn't you say so......hell yes I'm interested!). However, we cannot quote its content to you via email for privacy reasons.

We understand that the content of your package itself is a Bank Draft
worth of $800,000.00 USD (and boy could I use that about right now!!) FedEx do not ship money in CASH or in CHEQUES but Bank Drafts are shippable (who knew?) . The package is registered with us for mailing by your colleague, and your colleague explained that he
is from the United States but he is here in Nigeria for a three (3)months Surveying Project as he works with a consultant firm in Nigeria West Africa (well of course he is, that doesn't sound phony at all....Amy, what's my colleageue/your Nigerian brother's name again?) We are sending you this email because your package is been registered on a Special Order (well, DUH, yeah...how else to send a Bank Draft(?) for $800,000!!).

What you have to do now, is to contact our Delivery Department for Immediate dispatch of your package to your residential address. Note that as soon as our Delivery Team confirm your information, it will take only one working day (24 hours) for your package to arrive it's
designated destination. For your information, the VAT & Shipping charges as well as Insurance fees have been paid for by your colleague (he is SUCH a doll!! sending me money AND paying the shipping and handling fees...Amy that brother of yours is some kind of special!) before your package was registered. Note that the payment that is made on the Insurance, Premium & Clearance Certificates, are to certify that the Bank Draft is not a Drug Affiliated Fund (DAF)
neither is it funds to sponsor Terrorism in your country. This will help you avoid any form of query from the Monetary Authority of your country (you mean the Federal Government? (Oh, well I'm sure they'll want their fair share, I mean really, they'll probably take half for taxes right up front! but hey, that still leaves me with $400k)

However, you will have to pay the sum of $210USD (can't we just reduce my Bank Draft by $210?) to the FedEx Delivery Department being full payment for the Security Keeping Fee of the FedEx company as stated in our privacy terms & condition page. Also be informed that your colleague wished to pay for the Security Keeping fee, but we do not accept such payment considering the facts that all items & package that are registered with us have a time limitation and we cannot accept payment not knowing when you will be contacting us for your package or even responding to us (Oh I totally understand, I'm so unpredictable that way, I wouldn't expect him to pay for EVERYTHING...sheesh). So we cannot take the risk to have accepted such payment incase of any possible demurrage (demur-who?). Kindly note that your colleague did not leave us with any further information (he's a very busy Consultant, he can't be expected to do it all). We hope that you respond to us as soon as possible because if you fail to respond until the expiry date of your package, we may refer the package to the British Commission for Welfare (oh goodness no, not the British Commission for Welfare! I think we all know nobody wants to deal with those guys..) as the package do not have a return address.

Kindly contact the delivery department (FedEx Delivery Post) with the
details given below:
FedEx Online Delivery Post
Contact Person: Daniel J. Blunt
Email:fedex-courier-nig-09@hotmail.com
Tel: +234-8074478251
Kindly complete the below form and send it to the email address given
above. This is mandatory to reconfirm your Postal address and telephone
numbers.

FULL NAMES:
TELEPHONE:
POSTAL ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
COUNTRY:

Kindly complete the above form and summit it to the delivery manager
on: fedex-courier-nig-09@hotmail.com

As soon as your details are received, our delivery team will give you
the necessary payment procedure so that you can effect the payment
for the Security Keeping Fee. As soon as they confirm your payment
receipt of $210USD, they will not hesitate to dispatch your package as
well as the attached letter to your residence.

It usually takes 24 hours being an overnight delivery service.
Note that we were not instructed to email you, but due to the high
priority of your package we had to inform you as your sender did not
leave us with his phone number (he knows I could get it from Amy you know.....)
because he stated that he just arrived Nigeria and he hasn't fix his phone yet (again, busy busy...can't do it all folks!!) . We indeed personally sealed your Bank Draft and we found your email contact (and thank goodness you did!) in the receivers column as the recipient of the foremost package.

Ensure to contact the delivery department with the email address given above and ensure to fill the above form as well to enable a successful reconfirmation.
Do not reply this email because this email account is not
monitored. Send your details to fedex-courier-nig-09@hotmail.com
Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Margaret Blaire.
FedEx Online Team Management.
All rights reserved. Â© 1995-2009

Obviously you can see the urgent nature of this email, so Amy........help a sister out, I need my $800,000 USD Bank Draft from your very important and ultra-busy Nigerian Consultant brother. You can clearly see how badly he wanted me to have this Bank Draft. Apparently he doesn't like his very own sister as much as he like random Mommy Bloggers on the intranetz. I'm rich bitches!! Everyone goes on vacation for free on me.......just as soon as I get my Bank Draft! Amy?

Buzz Kill

2009-03-24T10:59:00.003-04:00

I picked up the Twilight movie yesterday at Target. I could NOT wait to get home and watch the movie. I am a huge fan of the whole series, read it twice through and Midnight Sun as well. I just cannot get enough of those two crazy vampire kids.....until I watched the movie and it totally killed my Edward-Bella-Twilight buzz. Totally killed it.

I think if you have only watched the movie and have not read the books you owe it to yourself to read the books. You really don't get the depth of the relationship and much detail is lost in the movie. The movie was a huge disappointment for me. I mean other than Rob and all that.....the storyline was too vague. You don't get Alice's powers or her friendship with Bella, you don't get the whole Edward reading minds thing, you only get bits and snatches of the whole story.

You are doing yourself a huge disservice if you do not read the series. Seriously.....it's THAT GOOD. the movie however.......notsomuch

So if you watched the movie and you just don't get the hype, then you haven't read the books.

I'm holding out hope that deleted scenes and interviews and extra stuff included will be better.....

Thousand Words Thursday

2009-03-19T14:15:00.004-04:00

Just got an invite to use my uncle's condo at Hilton Head, SC for a week in June......how excited am I? (very)

Reminds me of this:

Big One, 18 months old, Myrtle Beach SC...........18 kinds of cute!!!

For more A Thousand Words Thursday see my girl Jen at Cheaper than Therapy!

hey you....

2009-03-17T09:35:00.002-04:00

do you like diamonds?

do you like it when people give you diamonds?

do you like it when people give you diamonds and don't expect sexual favors in return?.....too far?

then get yourself over to Scary Mommy's and enter the giveaway....you do have to subscribe, which should be NO problem because she is very very funny and if you don't already love her blog.....you will.....pinky swear!

Get over there and win some earrings!!!

Half Assed

2009-03-16T13:47:00.004-04:00

What does two cold and rainy weekend days imprisoned in your home with a whiny and grumpy and "bored" 7 year old and a sick teething quick and agile 1 year old equal?

It equals Mommy stopped at the Wine List today and purchased two (yes I said two....don't judge me...you weren't there this weekend) bottles for tonight!!

It also equals half projects done all over the house and half the new ~~cage~~ babygate thing installed, half of the laundry done, half of the Daisy patches ironed on, half of the bathroom (my half...ha ha ha) cleaned, half of the pictures retouched, half of the movie I rented watched, half of facebook twitter and blog-reading done and half of my sanity out the window.... okay, more like 60% of my sanity out the window and 40% down the hatch in that cute new wine glass my BFF got me (see picture above...not mine but very similar.....mine says Mommy's Sippy Cup)

How is it that you have no less than 45,000 Littlest Pet Shops, 8 million Webkinz, 2 giant Sterilite's of dress-up paraphernalia, any of 5 televisions and DVD players available, an XBox 360, a Wii, the biggest closet full of art supplies known to man, a desktop and a laptop at your convenience and 485 million Pixo's, yet you are "bored" and you have "nothing to do" and you "never get to do anything" and you hate it. (and before you start with how spoiled she is....I am well aware...you must know that she has three sets of grandparents to blame...I do NOT, I repeat NOT buy her all that crap)....I cannot take the drama

And Little One....well, I got nothin there....she's just wild and wide the fuck open ALL.THE.TIME. and she obviously was meant to be a boy. She is quite destructive and well...we've already discussed her temper and whatnot....

So, just imagine the stuck insideness of that whole scenario for me....

it was a very whiny, grumpy, grouchy, need a Xanax and an attitude adjustment courtesy of the Wine List, ill-pill kind of weekend.....and that was just me....

How was your weekend?

My favorite snack.....want some?

2009-03-16T09:16:00.003-04:00

Giveaway alert!

Not a huge one, don't get too excited but a good one!

Who loves popcorn? I know I do, especially when it comes from the movie theater all fresh and drizzled all over with that fantabulous butter and no I'm not sending you to the movies (but that would be good too) and I'm not sending you popcorn from the movies (that would be some kind of messy wouldn't it? Movie theater popcorn just happens to be the best, I'm just sayin....

Well you know when you pop popcorn at home and you get to the bottom and there are those crunchy little half popped pieces of heaven waiting for you? I know Big One and I fight over those pieces and I always try to take the popcorn out of the microwave early so I can get lots of those little half-popped kernels.

What if you could get a hole canister of JUST the half-popped crunchy yummy best part of popping popcorn? Well guess what my friends......YOU CAN!! They are called POPNOTS!™ and they are the best snack ever! I love love love them and since I love them so much I want to share! They aren't sold everywhere, but check the website to see if you can get them near you.....

So here's the deal, I'm giving away a canister (or two) of these awesome POPNOTS!™ because they are THAT good and I like to share!

To enter submit your comments and tell me what your favorite snack is and why I should try it (and where I can get it!). A random number will be drawn by the most sophisticated high tech random number drawing software known to mankind.......her name is Big One.....she has a bucket and she's not afraid to draw numbers out of it!

Thousand Words Thursday

2009-03-12T09:47:00.003-04:00

I don't think any explanation is needed for today's Thousand Words.......

Yes please!

For more Thousand Words Thursday visit Jen! at Cheaper than Therapy!

The Devil Wears Baby Gap

2009-03-10T16:19:00.003-04:00

AWWWWW......look at that bundle of sweetness...

couldn't you just kiss those sweet smiley cheeks?

Boy does she have you fooled..

Look again

Again

Do you see it now?

The horns beginning to bud through that pile of hair? I didn't notice either until yesterday when I made a sordid attempt at picking up her Albuterol script at Target.

I walked into Target just like normal, got my cart just like normal (I mean let's face it folks, she's been to Target once or a hundred times since birth) and lifted her up to put her in the cart seat in the front like normal.....only this time very unlike normal she starts SCREAMING as though I have just chopped off her arm and kicking her feet, flailing her arms and just totally freaking the fuck out. I am embarrassed to say that I was at a loss. I have never had to deal with such fit-throwing. Big One did not throw WAFs (Wild ASS Fits---thank you More Wine Please) like this and I'm not sure I know anyone with a ONE YEAR OLD that acts like a three year old BRAT on crack. It was the most heinous experience of my life. The fits did not end with the cart incident either. She wanted DOWN. She wants to crawl around on the floor. She did not want to be confined to the seat OR the cart. I tried putting her in the cart part too.....not having it. She wanted out and down and on the floor. She screamed, she cried she threw an all out WAF like I have never born witness to. She is One.Year.Old. Holy Omen child Batman.......God help me.

She was AWFUL. I mean AWFUL. She REDEFINED the word awful. It was awful to the point that I may never be able to go to my fav Target again. I may be a marked woman.....they may see me coming and put the place on lockdown.

Her temper is getting stronger and her demanding personality is something that I don't know quite how to deal with......but lets just say that I see a lot of cases of the red ass in her future!

Safety First!

2009-03-09T11:33:00.003-04:00

okay......so maybe this is kind of lame to post, but I think it's important and to quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman "I'm a safety girl!"

Crucial because of recent abductions during the daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...

This is for you, and for you to share with your children, your bloggy friends, your IRL friends, your Mom, your Dad, your sister, your cousin.....everyone you know.

After reading these 10 crucial tips, let me know if you know of any more that might benefit the readers because you can never be too cautious! It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do! (and if you are the husband of a woman who knows of this tip and isn't in 'the mood'....watch it...I'm just sayin)

2. This comes from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you... Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! (good tip yes, but I'm interested if the tourist guide has seen this in action or what)

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car (don't laugh, it happens), kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit(doing their check book, answering emails and text messages (who me?) or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you (shit, now I'm gonna be paranoid that someone's always watching me.....DAMN you Big Brother), and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF,Repeat:DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes, bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location. (of course my husband is the one that always says....."they won't keep her long....they'll bring her right back".....ha ha fucking ha...always a comedian....)

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: Look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers (seems to be a lot of tips about serial killers here no? epidemic I'm unaware of?) attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot.This is especially true at NIGHT! (AS IF my lazy ass would be taking the stairs anyway.....what? I have a bad knee.....)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.RUN, Preferably in a zigzag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! (note to self and minis....Mommy is DONE with sympathy so SUCK IT UP.....mommy doesn't want to get raped or killed!) It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her'Whatever you do, DO NOT Open the door. The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door. He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it,but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. (sounds hokey to me, seems we would be reading about this CryBaby Serial Killer all over the intranetz were this remotely true....but JUST IN CASE!)

10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE!(psshhhh..yeah right, like I would be going out to investigate....that's why I got married) These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack (who are "these people" and why have I never heard of this before?.....oh well......I shared.....I've done my duty)

Would You Rather Wednesday!

2009-03-04T13:58:00.002-05:00

Is it Wednesday again already? Well personally I can't wait for this week to fly on by because not unlike Gretchen (RHOC), I plan to go on a trip to "get away" with my BFF this weekend while my Dad (not my fiance...really my Dad) is holed up in the hospital recovering from his latest cancer surgery.....cause I'm cold and despicable that way....

not really, he's fine and great and they 'got it all' (remains to be seen) but he'll be released Friday to go home.......but thinking of the situation it made me think of Gretchen, only with a Dad not a fiance and I don't look or act a thing like her, although I wish my life was as carefree and silly as hers seems to be.....and damn do I ever wish I had that body.....and this is going in the wrong direction......Zzzzzzzzzzz

So here goes.......

1. Would you rather have a lisp or a wandering eye?

2. Would you rather be on vacation with your parents and have your Mom insist upon wearing a THONG or your Dad a tiny euro-syle banana hammock?

3. On a first date, wear a T-shirt that says, "I'm With Stupid" -OR-a T-shirt that asks, "Who Cut the Cheese"?

Birthday Photos

2009-03-03T13:57:00.003-05:00

here are a couple I hijacked off of email...more later...

First taste of icing....looking at me to see if it's okay to keep going I guess....

You could say that she thoroughly enjoyed every ounce of that cake!

Big One and Little One.....sweet sisters

oops.....how did that get in there? Not from the birthday...but still cute, no?!

What do you mean NO? What is this "get off the stairs" business you refer to?

Craptastic Tuesday!

2009-03-03T10:21:00.003-05:00

ok so I was off on Friday, had lunch with my BFF and shopped....great day. Saturday was cleaning and laundry day, Sunday was Little One's First Birthday (photos coming later) and yesterday was a mother floggin snow day and today......2 hour damn delay and what does all this mean? Well for one thing it means I forgot to take the kitty's food away last night at midnight so she could go get 'fixed' and de-weaponed and vaccinated and what not today.....dammit. That's four appointments that will require rescheduling today. Six if you count the one's I'm doing for my Mom.....so where was I? Oh yes, so what does all this mean?

4 days off work = good
4 days home with minis = notsogood for the sanity level
4 days off work = desk full-o-crap

Oh and the Bachelor? Oh and Rihanna took him back?......not much time to play today so I'll leave you with that for now....photos of cake face-stuffing coming soon....

p.s.

Please pray if you pray, they found more cancer in my Dad's sinuses yesterday and he's in surgery as we speak. I cannot go to be with them it is a several hour drive and someone has to be here at our business. Keep him in your thoughts today please.... Thanking you.....

thanks to you......

2009-02-26T13:50:00.003-05:00

Me? Mine? Seriously? Wow.....I don't know what to say.....except Amy Amy has been doing too many of Jillian's crunches and it's gone to her head!

But still.......WOW.......thank you so much! What a great birthday present! Wait a minute...I see what's going on here......so that's it, you felt bad for not getting me a gift so you awarded me out of guilt....

BRILLIANT! I'll take it!

So now I have to add five things I'm addicted to:

I'm embarrassed to say this but I'm totally addicted to the Sims game on Big One's Wii....I'm not even a gamer per se but she got me sucked in and now I can't stop playing it!
Dr. Pepper (preferably fountain drink)
My LG Lotus phone
My new Photoshop and Corel Paint software
Gain

And now link to 5 blogs I think are fabulous!:

Thank you again Amy! (wink)

Thousand Words Thursday

2009-02-26T09:20:00.005-05:00

Thirty seven years ago today my mother woke up with a pain in her side and a wet bed. She got up and decided to drive herself to the hospital stopping at the bank along the way to get some cash. She parked the car and walked into the emergency room and waited her turn. The nurse looked at her and asked why she was there, she didn't seem hurt and was awfully calm to be in the ER. Mom said she was in labor and it was almost time. They did not believe her. An hour later I was born.

One year ago today I was also in the hospital, not the ER but on the High Risk floor of the very same hospital my Mother gave birth to me in ~~losing my mind~~ patiently awaiting the arrival of Little One. I had been there almost one month at that point and had missed Big One's birthday and party and was now celebrating my own birthday in my little hospital room.....I WAS allowed to leave my room for a 10 minute wheelchair ride! Four extremely long days later after a big bleed and an emergency c-section on March 1, 2008, Little One joined us weighing in at 4lbs. 13oz., 17 1/2 inches long. She was a little over 6 weeks early and remained in the NICU for a month after that. So, after that long winded introduction....today my Thousand Words go to Little One and my Mom.....

(this is me, Big One and Little One two days after she was born in the NICU. They let us get her out of the isolette to hold her for a few minutes)

(This is a cropped version of a scanned snapshot of Little One that same day....she was unbelievably tiny. Just amazing. She lost down to 4lbs. 6oz. that day)

(and this was at Christmas.....my Mom holding Little One.....amazing that little tiny fragile 4lb. baby turned into this healthy chunky eating machine!! What a difference!)

For more Thousand Words Thursday visit the amazing Jen at Cheaper than Therapy!

Would You Rather Wednesday!

2009-02-25T13:28:00.004-05:00

Look what time it is already.......time for another (yawn) installment of Would You Rather Wednesday......

First up we have Vanity.....

1. Would you rather have a footlong eyelash that you can never pluck OR an earlobe the size of a basketball?

Next up we have Social Quandry......

2. Would you rather stay single forever and loads and loads of the best friends ever OR marry happily but never ever have any friends?

And last today we have Patience....

3. Would you rather have one wish granted today or three wishes granted in 10 years?

...and if you live at my house the question lately is would you rather get up to put the kitten on lock-down in the office so she'll quit playing with your hair at approximately 1:30am EVERY night (kitten on a stick anyone?) OR go upstairs to administer cough medicine at regular intervals to sick minis.........trust me, either way you are gettin no sleep at my casa.......

Thanks to those who play along......and for those of you that don't I am sticking my tongue out at you! Happy Hump Day!

Flashback......

2009-02-24T08:39:00.009-05:00

To the 1930's.....

These are great! The first one is my favorite.....who knew such promiscuity was advertised in the 1930's? and still so true today!

at least they were promoting safe sex, right?

Um, yeah......we all know there were no women doctors in the 1930's........seriously

So this has been the answer all along? Tapeworms in a can? I still don't think I could do it...sanitized or not

Someone was actually paid to write this next ad and in the 1930's I'll just bet it was a man......Lysol....come on

(if you can't read it.....this is what the ad says...."Day after heartbreaking day I was held in an unyielding web...a web spun by my husband's indifference. I couldn't reach him anymore! Was the fault mine? Well...thinking you know about feminine hygeine, yet trusting to now and then care, can make all the difference in married happiness, as my doctor pointed out. He said never to run such careless risks...prescribed "Lysol" brand disinfectant for douching--always.

Oh, the joy of finding Tom's love and companionship once more! Believe me, I follow to the letter my doctor's instructions on feminine hygiene...always use "Lysol" for douching! I wouldn't be satisfied now with salt, soda or other household solutions. Not with "Lysol" a proven germ killer that cleanses so gently yet so thoroughly. It's easy to use too and economical. The very best part is "Lysol" really works!"

and if this is all it takes to be happy......

Now I have been known to partake in the occasional cigarette when I drink but odds are not in your favor if you think blowing cigarette smoke in my face will make me swoon and follow you around........

cause who doesn't carry around a can opener in their pocket?

ahhh, Some Day has arrived......thank God! I'm so glad I live in the land of "Some Day"

in a nutshell........

2009-02-23T15:33:00.003-05:00

Well well, it has been a while, no?

Doesn't it go something like "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade"? well, how long do you have to ferment them to turn them into wine? I don't much like lemonade but I've been dealt an assload of lemons the past couple weeks and the hits just keep on coming....I figure I have enough lemons to open I winery if I could figure out the whole fermentation process and all...

Let's start with Little One. She's just been an absolute mess. Sick sick and more sick. Oh, and then after all that, she was sick again. We visited the pediatric ER and the pediatrician so many times I lost count and then she got sick some more. So, that about wraps her up.....

But she will be turning a year old this Sunday and WOW, when did that happen?

Moving on to Big One we have mega-constipation and stomach issues requiring yet ANOTHER pediatric ER visit (which thanks to the makers of Pediatric Fleet Enema and Miralax we have overcome). There have been lots of dietary changes and poop-charting......okay, not really charting as in making her write it down and all that but she is asked the barrage of "did you poop today? how many times? was it hard or soft or watery? and TMI anyone?

Big One is suddenly way concerned about hair and clothes and the right shoes with the right outfit and nails and jewelry and where did this little diva come from and can I have my tomboy daughter back? We are only seven years old folks......seriously, is it time for this already? Does that mean I can expect Little One to turn on me at age 3? She and her 'mean girl' frenemies at the afterschool are constantly changing status. Flip flopping between loving each other and being best friends to hurting each others feelings and making each other cry. They are TOO.YOUNG.FOR.THIS......PERIOD PERIOD PERIOD. I want my simple life is not complicated little girl back dammit!

The Husband.....well, to be honest nothing really changed there. Same old same old...

We do have this thing where they are trying to re-district our neighborhood into the WORST district around here in the worst neighborhood with the delinquent children. The schools in that district are like zoos. They are old and run down and just ZOOS!! It will not only be a devastating blow to our children's quality of education and schooling but it will force our property value into nonexistence. We won't be able to give our house away. So UP IN ARMS are what we are!! It's taken up a lot of my time all the calling and organizing and copying and passing out and not to mention the panty-waddige it's causing.....cause trust me, there are panties in a bunch all over my 'hood these days!

My dad's cancer has a mind of it's own and apparently more life than we originally thought after surgery so there's been that going on (prayers and crossed fingers all around please!)

And then there is me.....my birthday is Thursday and let's just say we are NOT looking forward to it much. I'm turning 37 and it's creeping too close to 40......late 30's........UGHHH....... and on top of that I've been put on short time at work so that makes me and the Husband both on short time. Fan-freaking-tastic. We never really liked paying our bills anyway.

and I miss my blogging. I miss my board (and bored) friends. I miss having time to play on Facecrack and Tweet and stuff.........please hang with me.....don't leave.......embrace my neediness in your comment hugginess............I need love and hugs and such and thanks Stephenie Meyer for not finishing Midnight Sun.....preciate that girlfriend......why? Just finish it already....I need more Edward. Just when I thought I was getting over it I decide to start listening to the new Patricia Cornwell Scarpetta and dammit.......I used to love Scarpetta.....and she's still okay, but she's got nothing on Edward and Bella (mostly Edward, but okay, Bella too) and when did this turn into an Ode to Edward?

Anyway, that's what's been up in a nutshell but, I'm back this week. Here all week folks and I promise promise pinky swear promise I'll be better than this depressing crapfest!!

Would You Rather Wednesday

2009-02-18T15:23:00.002-05:00

So I can't find my header for WYRW for some reason today. My computer seems to have a life of it's own these days.....wonder what it's twitter name is...

Would you rather sit in the pediatric emergency room with your seven year old screaming doubled over in pain after 5 days of stomach aches for 10 hours OR sit the the pediatric emergency room with your almost one year old that has RSV AGAIN and does not like to be held or be still and desperately wants down onto the germ infested cesspool ER floor screaming, wheezing, and madder than hell for 2 days.

Oh......wait, that wasn't supposed to be today's Would You Rather.....oh yeah, that was part of my last 5 days.....a small part if that tells you how life's been going

The REAL WYRW is here:

1. Would you rather slide down a 50 foot razor blade into a vat of alcohol, or suck all the snot out of a dog's nose until its head caves in?

2. Would you rather be forced to preface everything you say with the phrase "Tuck it in" under threat of being slapped, or have a magnetic head?

3. Spend a night alone in a supposedly haunted house?Spend the night alone camping in a mountain forest?

Hey

2009-02-17T12:10:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to say HELLO!!

I'll catch up later......I know I'm so off on my posting. It's been so crazy and I don't know where to begin.

There has been lots of hospital trips, sick minis, work stuff, family drama involving a new tenant in my offset garage, and neighborhood drama that will be forthcoming and losing a group of "friends" that I will not elaborate on.

Lots of things to discuss and not discuss......no time now......Little One is having some tests this afternoon

Be back later maybe....tomorrow for sure!

Why Babies Have Mothers

2009-02-11T11:49:00.002-05:00

Would You Rather Wednesday

2009-02-11T09:29:00.003-05:00

So it's that time again. I enjoy your responses so much......I just forget to post my own. Damn me all to hell. I'll remember this time. Pinky swear. I'm not kidding, really I will......in fact, hold your breath!

Without further adieu.....here we go

1. Would you rather have a third eye in the middle of your head for the rest of your life or a horn in the middle of your head?

2. Would you rather be stranded on an island alone or with someone you hate?

3. Would you rather be 4'1" or 7'9"?

and since I'm such a loser and forget to do my own games I'll give an extra this week...

4. Would you rather know it all or have it all?

Don't forget I want details......no fun if you don't play

So throw me a bone this close to Valentine's Day and Lurkers Play the Games Today! and not just here......if you normally just read the posts and move on, be a sport and leave some comment love this Valentine's week and not just for me.....for all your blogs. Comment comment comment. Not just today, but every day this week. If you like to read our blogs and you want us to keep blogging, let us know, we are comment junkies, comment whores if you will, but I encourage every lurker to come out of hiding this week. Come on, it's Valentine's Week, show us some love.....

7 going on 25

2009-02-10T09:41:00.005-05:00

I know I was going to do the usual Birthday tribute to Big One for her birthday on Saturday and I know you were all just on pins and needles waiting for the gushy mushfest post about how she's the light of my life...the wind beneath my wings if you will....BUT, someone has been so filled with attitude and sass that the whole "wind beneath my wings" feeling has become more of a "sand in my eye" , "thorn in my side" , "boil on the butt of humanity" feeling, and I'm not mentioning any names but it starts with a Big and ends with a One.

WHERE did this little diva come from? There is lots of eye rolling and attitude. Makes me want to slap the teeth out of her head (disclaimer: I would never REALLY do that...)

I want my sweet innocent loving happy nice obedient low key fun loving little girl back.....

If you see her you will let me know, yes?

she looks like this....

but bigger with less angelic adorableness and a lot more attitude....

All Aboard!

2009-02-06T08:52:00.005-05:00

Let's take a ride on the crazy train this morning shall we?

Anyone catch the interview with the octuplet baby machine this morning? Me neither because I'm WORKING people....but I might have stumbled upon it on the internet this morning and Hello world, my name is Crazy McNeedsSomeHelp...

And seriously...are those lips real? The bottom looks like it could be but the top looks like someone may have had some filler....does it not?

This clearly educated woman who is working on her Master's degree in COUNSELING no less used to work at a Mental Hospital (um, hello... Admissions Office? This is Crazy McNeedSomeHelp....) but was obviously on the wrong side of THAT desk if you know what I mean...

Who has 6 children alone with no job and no income and no spouse and thinks, Oh what the hay, what's one more? And then has SIX more embryos implanted thinking, well, maybe one might take....knock knock knock....hello? The lights are on, but no body's home folks...

And the funny part is that she wants us all to understand how much she loves her children, I mean she holds them each for 45 minutes every day, who cares if she has no money or job or spouse or place to live, she holds them each 45 minutes a day. Isn't that enough? Do they really need food and shelter and clothing and diapers? As a counselor does she really not see how the rest of us think she may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer? I mean come on..... Really?

Really?

REALLY?

Edited to add link to watch video and read story HERE

I've got to go, I think it's almost time for Little One's 45 minutes of holding....

Caption the Cartoon above here if you're interested

Thousand Words Thursday

2009-02-05T14:56:00.003-05:00

This is not the best quality photo....it's a copy but it makes me long for warm weather and the lakehouse.....

Big One.....I think she was about 18 months here. She luurrrrved her some sunglasses...

Le sigh......my baby is going to be seven years old in two days....tribute to Big One tomorrow!

For more Thousand Words Thursday.....visit Jen at Cheaper than Therapy!

Bank of Alison

2009-02-05T13:45:00.002-05:00

This appears to be my wallet.......
But really it's my husband's ATM machine.......

He "just doesn't have time to go by the bank"......because obviously I have all the time in the world and can just go to the bank whenever my little heart desires. Nothing pisses me off more (well, okay...that might be a slight exaggeration...) than when I THINK I have cash in my wallet and I go to pay for something with said cash only to find that said cash has been taken by STUPID husband!!

And how is your day?